A break and an accomplishment

I couldn't finish December. What I meant to be playful and fun got to a deep place with me after the horrific events of December 14th. Instead, I threw myself into everything possible with my kids, keeping all those families who could not close to my heart and in the front of my mind. And you know what? It was one of the greatest holidays ever.

We made it through a 2 year old's birthday party since then (yeah, she's two! yikes!) and we're preparing for a 7 year old's birthday party in three weeks. Equally as mind blowing.

The news of year, so far, though? I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE! At 32 years old I finally have my Bachelor's Degree in Integrated Supply Chain and Organizational Management. I get things done. And its documented. Finally.

I know this seems silly to most, but I spent a total of 13 years working toward a degree. What started as a teaching degree, moved into this as my work life expanded and my time spent working in a school system soured my outlook on a teaching career.

I promised my grandma when she died 9 years ago that at some point, I'd go back. I'd find something, I'd go back, and I'd get a college degree. For sure. Back then, I didn't even believe it myself. It seemed completely impossible but over time, I dug out of that dark place and moved forward with my plan.

Since returning to school 4 years ago I have gotten engaged, lost a job, gotten married, gotten a new job, bought a house, had a baby, and enjoyed many unbelievable moments in between. To say it was easy would be an understatement. I am forever in the debt of my husband for his support in helping to keep the house running (and for being cool with me taking on some student loan debts!). But I do not regret a moment of it.

If you're looking o change your life, do it. You can. Trust me. If I can, you certainly can.

Where are my eyebrows

This morning we suffered a terrible catastrophe at our house.

After a night spent running up and down the stairs to assist a baby with a cough (is there anything sadder or more maddening at 2 in the morning?) I struggled rolling out of bed and getting started. I just kept telling myself to keep my eyes on the prize, there would be coffee in the kitchen.

I was wrong.

I’m not sure how it happened or who to blame, but at this point finger-pointing just seems trivial. The point is, I had to start my day 100% unassisted by my precious black gold (I seriously rely on coffee this much).

I basically lost all ability to function and get us out of the door in good order as a result.

I am unintentionally engaged in a makeup free Monday at work today. So if you see me today, allow me to clear up a few things.

Yes, that is 1 ½ eyebrows on my face. I had a regrettable plucking addiction in my teens and 20’s, now they really don’t grow back (there’s a hint I wish I knew back then).

Yes, I do have pores that big.

Yes, they still get that many little pimples and blemishes.

No, I am not sick. Just pale without a little color added to my cheeks.

I arrived at the office to find we only had decaf coffee in the building. I’m not even sure why we have decaf coffee in the building, let alone why it’s the only option today. But after getting down on my hands and knees and digging through the kitchen cupboards, I found a few caffeinated packs. I also contacted purchasing about this.

Happy Monday everyone. Hope you’ve got all your eyebrows and your caffeine system is full!

Forget the paycheck, focus on the peoplecheck.

Another day another dollar at the day job. I feel like the “norm” in my work place, and many others, in this current economic climate is to complain about work and the conditions we work for. I will not. There are definitely things I would love to improve at my workplace (most notably, I need more digits on my pay checks!) but I’ve been thinking lately about all the non-monetary things that make this job so great to me.

I work around 45 hours per week. And I commute 1 hour each way to get to this office. I have to pay for daycare for a 1 year old and some before school care for a 6 year old.  The first 16 hours of my work week cover the “expenses” of me getting here to work. I won’t begin bringing my lunches and health insurance costs into this – my husband does work so it’s not like I am completely solo here.

Nonetheless, it’s depressing when I look at it like that. Especially when I think of how long I am away from my home and how badly I long to take care of my children, house, and husband better. Just because I want to dominate the working world does not mean I don’t want to be a domestic goddess as well, after all. I also know, thanks to the number of working moms available to commiserate with in the world, that I am not alone in this.

I urge us all to stop for a moment and look around though. Times are tough. We all want more money and I promise you our companies do too. Maybe they’d share if they got it, maybe they wouldn’t; but there are very few companies that are bringing in what they feel they “should”. They’re in the same boat as us. What we need to lean on now is the “personal paycheck” and not the paper one.

On my birthday, cupcakes and a card appeared on my desk. Signed by everyone in the office and some emails from off-site accounts poured in also. I did not tell anyone it was my birthday, I do not make it a habit to “friend” co-workers on social sites (I DO need vent some!), but my company posts our birthdays every month to keep us all engaged. When my children are sick, my office set me up with a remote desk top so I can work from home to preserve personal days and vacation time. They could tell me I’m on my own, deal with it. My schedule right now is varied for allergy treatments for my son – not only does the boss let me have the time but he checks in from time to time to see how the treatments are going. My boss and co-workers know my husband’s name, my children, and some of the big things happening. They ask for updates and offer support. My son sold over $300 for his school fundraiser in this office. I did no selling, I just set the form on my desk and they passed it around. He got the prize he wanted :)

They rolled out a new recognition system that’s like Facebook. We can post “good job” notes on people’s walls. The grumbling has already started about the low pay and wanting more tangible goods but I guess I do not agree. Would a key chain make the work place better? No. But the hot cocoa, Dunkin Donuts coffee, teas, and other drinks we’re granted do. Would another 15 cents an hour really make me happier? Honestly, I probably wouldn’t even notice it. But when I worked late one night during a snow storm and the VP of Operations brushed my car off in the cold and dark so I wouldn’t have to – that definitely made me happier.

Stop focusing on what you don’t have and be thankful for what you do. A paycheck, some cupcakes, and a little appreciation for a job well done.

Bullied at work - what's a mom to do?

Alright kids, here we go. Am I just a mom who struggles with kindergarten and keeping things off the living room floor? No. I’m a working mom with career goals. Over the years have they changed? Well yeah. My priorities have changed.

Do I want to rule the world? Well, I already do. I’m the final say on the outfits in our house. On the tv shows, when friends can come over, when friends must go, who gets a bath when, how much food “counts” as a dinner, and a plethora of other items.

Do I want to rule another world? Not so much anymore. But I wouldn’t mind managing a small corner of it or at least being treated like I’m not an idiot. See? Change in priorities but completely doable, right?

So I’ve got a real problem with people strolling into my corner of the office (note: not my corner office) and trying to tell me how to do my job. Not so much if this is an actual boss or executive – but when you’ve worked here for 3 months and 2 years experience? I really don’t need to hear it. In fact, when I get these lectures from the new kiddo – who I shall refer to as DB from here on out – all I really hear is blah-blah-blah.

I know this Is a male dominated industry, but it still gives DB no right to speak to me or anyone else as if we’re inferior idiots to him. Most of what he says is wrong or at least slightly off base. He needs help with simple tasks non-stop. And answering a question once isn’t enough – we have to answer it at least 4 times a week, every week. There’s no learning when you know it all already, right? Not sure why he’s asking so many questions if he knows it all though….perhaps that’s part of my idiocy.

I have loved this job and my work at this company for the duration of my time here. Yes, there’s been hiccups along the way, every job has them. But now, to be degraded daily and spoken to like a child (did I mention I’m college educated in this industry with 10 years experience?) is disgusting. To get no assistance from any level of management in correcting this when dealing with it personally didn’t work is disheartening.

My choice from the execs? Sit here and take that – or I can be demoted to another department. One where my brain will slowly rot and my co-workers will wonder, what on earth happened to me? I’ll keep my pay but ever moving up will be even more of a challenge.

Do I swallow my pride and continue being treated like garbage?
Do I just leave the situation and stress for something I can do in my sleep?
Do I try to find another company and job I’d love like I’ve loved this one?
What do I tell my kids if I take the demotion?
What WOULD I tell my kids if this were them?
What would you do?