I'm Mother of the Year

I am exhausted today. Why, you ask?

Because nearly HOURLY last night, there was just HYSTERICAL crying coming over the baby monitor. It wasn’t the kind of cry you can just ignore. But somehow, every time I got downstairs to L’s room to calm her down, she had calmed herself and was sleeping soundly. But like clockwork, an hour or so later the crying would be back and I’d go back down, and she’d be calm by the time I got there. I barely slept.

I got her up this morning and she wanted to sit on the potty. While we’re in the bathroom sitting about two inches apart, we hear hysterical baby crying over the monitor again! L and I just looked at each other fully wide eyed and she finally spoke up “Momma! That’s a BABY!” Uh yeah…it is. What’s it doing IN YOUR ROOM!?

Then we hear people talking in whispers. I’m seriously creeped out and trying to think of the best plan of action to get me and the naked two year old out of that bathroom without being detected. I was about to call the police but I realized: our baby monitor is picking up the neighbor’s newborn baby! We must have the same monitor!

So I am exhausted today not from taking care of my kids all night but because I was up attempting to care for the neighbor’s baby all night.

I’m THAT dedicated to the institution of motherhood.

"Melmo Geen!" trauma on Sesame Street

Parenting 101 factoid: Consistency is important for kids.

I’m not just talking about the daily routines or similar caregivers – this apparently goes much deeper than I ever realized or experienced with my oldest child.

I was laid up on Monday with a case of the Mondays paired with a massive allergy attack, it was far from a pretty day at our house. My oldest is visiting his dad this week and the youngest headed off to daycare so I could attempt to rest (she’s teething and I feel like I have newborn again at night on top of all this).

When she arrived home, she wanted to read some books. Normally I love it, but Monday all I wanted to do was continue laying on the couch with my eyes closed. Everyone sit down for a minute and get your judging hats on: so I offered to the 18 month old that she could pick out a movie to watch instead.

This is rare. She’s actually never watched a movie before. She knows where they are and she’s seen her big brother pop one on as she’s heading down to bed in the evenings before but its never been her chance before. She ran like a crazed lady down the hall and picked out a Sesame Street DVD she’d been eyeballing titled “Being Green”.

Let me fill you in on the premise in case you’re not familiar with this blockbuster film. Elmo and Abby are hosting a telethon with the usual cast of characters manning the phone bank. They’re raising money and awareness for “Being Green” and taking care of the earth by reusing, reducing, and recycling. Now you’re up to speed.

I was impressed when she sat with me on the couch and was paying attention. She pointed out all her favorites “Melmo!” (Elmo), “Abby!”, “Coo-ee!” (Cookie Monster), “Eh-nee!” (Ernie) and was really enjoying her big girl movie time. That is, until Elmo asked Abby to cast a spell to allow him to be Green and take care of the Earth all the time.

If you’ve seen Sesame Street you know two things. First, Abby is not very good with a wand. Second, her parents should demand a tuition refund from that Fairy School – it’s not helping. Needless to say, the furry red monster was suddenly completely green from head to toe. My daughter took one look at me, her face filled with concern, and clasped her hands at her chest as she watched Elmo running across the screen yelling “ELMO IS GREEN!!!” in a panicked fashion.

She screamed at the top of her lungs “Melmo geeeen!” and looked near tears. She hopped off the couch and ran to my husband – screaming and panicking that Melmo was geen. We started to console her and tried to “explain” he was ok and he’d be all better in just a few minutes – but before we could fully console her Cookie Monster snapped, and ate his phone at the phone bank since no one was answering his requests for cookies.

This lead to a tearful child begging him to stop “No Cooo-eee…No!!”. Again, hands clasped at her chest and a concerned look on her face.

At this point, I shut the movie off. I don’t need years of therapy bills for her down the road thanks to “Being Green”. She was concerned for Melmo and Cooo-eee as I put it away and walked her back into the movies and told her to find something else. She chose “Elmo in Grouchland”, and when Elmo and Cookie Monster appeared in normal fashion, she smiled broadly and seemed relieved as she informed us “Melmo better.”

My recommendation to parents? In addition to a consistent daily routine, keep their Muppets the right color. You’ll thank me later.

We opened a bakery

We did it. We decided to start our own little bakery with the goal of making safe goodies for food allergy sufferers to enjoy.

The main goal would be to get our goodies into classroom and birthdays throughout the land to let every kid feel completely normal and part of the group. No more "special" plates for kids. They'll get the same piece of cake or cupcake or cookie that everyone else does. This might not seen like a lot to most people, but to a kid (and the parents of these kids) its monumental.

The Bon Bakery came to be from the delightful way Ben said his name when he was little. "I'm Bon" was always followed by the most infectious, beaming, friendly little smile this world has ever seen. No one on the outside could tell that at a moment's notice, that smile could disappear behind a swollen face and hives thanks to food. Nor could they see the anxiety that any of those reactions could make that smile disappear forever. This bakery is "Bon's" Bakery.

Its driven by his Momma and step-dad who have an insane love of cookies, both our kids, and baking treats. Combining these three loves has driven this passion to a new personal level. We want to help kids like Bon experience things. Hopefully, people who are nervous to cook for an allergy kid will reach out to us. It IS daunting and scary if you're not used to it. After five years of navigating this food allergy jungle - we're veterans, but always looking for new ways to spread our goodies and the message behind them.

We've had a little boy sit alone with a different treat because a classroom treat that was brought in wasn't safe. It hurts. We've had a little boy who has been teased for his different "safe treat" during class parties. It infuriates. And we've had a little boy smile so big and squeeze us so tight when we've been able to recreate something he thought he couldn't have. Its inspiring.

Please visit our Etsy store at http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheBonBakery or find us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TheBonBakery. Help us spread the word and educate people to the needs so many kids and adults face. We might not be able to find a cure, but we've yet to meet a problem that a really good cookie can't make better - especially a safe cookie.

Bird Brained Festivities

Did you have a good Memorial Day? We sure did. It was sunny, close to 90, a little humid, and we just redid the play area in the back yard. It was the perfect recipe for a day of fun in the sun family memories.

But, like every other day that I pray will become a cherished memory something always goes awry.

We were good as we played in the sprinklers, got the kids pool filled, had a water fight, munched a few snacks, and had some neighbor kids over. The swinging was great, the new fort worked well, and millions of bubbles were blown, chased, and popped. After a long winter inside, we were finally outside and at the request of our son, we decided to eat outside too.

I took one step toward the house to gather what I needed and heard a pop, then felt a squish. As I looked down, I was standing IN a baby bird. I’m assuming he fell out of a nest somewhere high in the tree that covers part of our yard.

Immediately, my normally rough and tumble ninja/warrior/brave boy was a sobbing mess. It was like the end of Old Yeller in the backyard.

“Why did you step on him mom?!”

Really? I’m hosing birdy off my foot and he thinks I did this on purpose? I assured him that other than the bird, I was probably the most disturbed party involved in this mess. There is squished bird ON MY BAREFOOT.

This led to “Why was he there? Where is his mom? Why did this happen?” and a litany of others.

To get him off the topic, I decided to try and get the bird out of the yard. The shovel just made a bigger mess, the little trowel somehow sent feathers everywhere – finally my husband quietly came over and told me “I think I’m just going to have to mow him – he’s really into the grass.”

Gross.

I moved the kids along and got them to forget about him. Hands were washed, dinner was cooked and as I approached the picnic table to give our son his plate, he was holding something in his hand and investigating it. If you have a six year old boy, you know where this is going. It was a “chunk” of our bird buddy.

I may have freaked out more then, than when it was on my foot. I marched him in, made him wash his hands three times. I washed them once. And we purelled the living daylights out of the kid. I was about ready to cancel eating outside (I hate it anyway with all the bugs that fly around). But we got to the table, sans bird, and enjoyed a meal.

As our daughter finished her meal, my husband plopped her onto the ground to play for a few minutes – RIGHT ON TOP OF THE DAMN BIRD. I may have lost my cool for a moment when asking him why my darling baby was now SITTING in dead bird. I’m not sure how, but he claims he forgot the bird was there. Temporary insanity possibly? Maybe.

By the end of the day, the bird was scrubbed off the baby’s legs and butt as well. We’re all bird free. And my lawn is getting mowed today.

And I’m guessing, while it’s not the stuff of Hallmark movies, we made plenty of memories we won’t be forgetting any time soon.

Blood, tears, and ice cream

How are you doing with your Bible?? I’m working on it. Done in 90 days? No. But I’m not giving up – and that’s the point. I’ve started this before and never made it. I get through about a chapter a day and that’s good for me. Fifteen to twenty minutes of good for your soul time each day. I’m still recommending it to everyone! Get on it! You’ll thank me! Or at least think about it.

My blogging hasn’t improved but work has been busy. And school. And my kids have been funneling illnesses and injuries through this house faster than I can keep up (I am begging the pediatrician to start a punch card program so every 11^th visit is free).

The baby, who is no longer a baby, got her head stuck between the wall and a chair this weekend – and in the process of freeing herself since she couldn’t wait the .2 seconds it took me to get to her, she tore that little piece of skin between your gum and inside of your lip. I’m pretty sure she lost half the blood in her body and the Bounty paper towel company should add me to their Christmas list (in case my spill prone household somehow wasn’t on it already). Being the calm, cool, collected veteran momma I am – I handled it. No ER trip. I kicked it around, but we’re good (yes I checked her teeth too).

And that night, her brother (her peanut and tree nut allergic brother, I might add) ate some homemade ice cream. HOMEMADE people, as in, his mother meticulously read every label for every ingredient and let him make ice cream because “I never get to have fun ice cream – it always has peanuts.” Sadly, someone mislabeled something – or we have a new allergy. Welcome anaphylaxis (google that if you want to know the Hell we live in) and a trip to the ER. And not to mention, the sobbing little boy scared that the ice cream will kill him or that "they're going to cut me open to get the peanuts out!". He was a sobbing petrified mess, which broke his momma's heart and made for TWO sobbing messes. 

He’s fine. He’s on some meds for a few days (steroids). I’ve called and screamed at every company who SWEARS their food is safe. And I’ve made an allergist appointment to check him for something new. And for the next month, he’s back to an existence of no “fun ice cream” because we can’t be sure what the issue was.

I know that everyone wants their kids to be happy. To have what they want. And to enjoy life (and the yummy things!) but what I wish people understood is that some kids can’t. Lots of kids. And in some cases, like my son, food can be deadly. If you don’t get the big deal about peanut butter in schools and why it needs to be removed, stop and think for a minute. My son can’t have fun ice cream. He can’t eat many candies. Cookies, cakes, cupcakes, pies….all of that is out. Granola bars aren’t safe. Many cereals aren’t safe. I could go on.

Companies need to be more aware. I know they want to turn a buck and I know that these labeling are more of a legal hassle to most of them than anything. But its people’s lives. Kid’s lives. Food allergies are real things that real people deal with.

I’m madder than Hell at something. Either a company or an allergy. I’m frustrated that I currently cannot focus my anger at either possibility. I’m sad that the smartest, funniest, smiliest, most polite, energetic, greatest Lego builders I’ve ever known can’t have “fun ice cream” and faces the potential of death on a daily basis. It’s a lot for a kid. And his mom.

Keep your peanut butter at home. My kid just wants to make friends, have fun, and not die. He’s not asking for much.

Working momma rocking dinner :)

I work. A lot. I mostly manage to skip lunch hours and bring work home to do after the kids are in bed so I can spend time with them and not just be a myth in their childhoods (I'm tired, but I'll sleep when my nest is empty!). Most of the time, I think I balance it well. Sometimes I feel guilty but I think the guilt means I'm doing things right - it'd be a real problem if I didn't care, right?

But, no matter what. Seven days a week my family sits down at the table, at the same time, and we eat. And laugh, and talk, and sometimes argue (you DO have to eat the vegetables and keep your elbows off table!) but we have some good times.

I'm blessed - really blessed - that my husband is willing and able to step up and make the meals so we can do this a bit more efficiently during the week. Weekends are usually Momma's domain. Sometimes though, I throw them for a loop and make dinner when I get home from work. Leaving me pressed for time. And this recipe? We love it. And its easy. And a little outside of the box which makes me feel happy!

Goldfish chicken!

Honestly, no clue where I got this. I've been cooking it for about 6 years and never got a complaint! And when MY six year old will eat an entire meal without a whine? "Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!"

Try it - you'll like it (kid cooks can help a bit too):

What you need:

2 cups goldfish crackers (we like flavor blast cheddar but we've played with them all and love them. The flavor blast ones were best)

1 1/2 cups ranch dressing

1 lb chicken tenders

Prepped baking dish (greased) - 9x13 should do it

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

1. Smash those little fishes into itty bitty little bits and crumbs (kid chefs do good work!), then pour into a bowl

2. In separate bowl, pour ranch

3. dredge chickn through ranch

4. roll in the goldfish to coat

5. place in baking dish

Bake them for 20-30 minutes and SERVE!

(I forgot to take a picture. We were hungry! Just imagine them cooked and yummy and my kids smiling as they eat it!)