"Melmo Geen!" trauma on Sesame Street

Parenting 101 factoid: Consistency is important for kids.

I’m not just talking about the daily routines or similar caregivers – this apparently goes much deeper than I ever realized or experienced with my oldest child.

I was laid up on Monday with a case of the Mondays paired with a massive allergy attack, it was far from a pretty day at our house. My oldest is visiting his dad this week and the youngest headed off to daycare so I could attempt to rest (she’s teething and I feel like I have newborn again at night on top of all this).

When she arrived home, she wanted to read some books. Normally I love it, but Monday all I wanted to do was continue laying on the couch with my eyes closed. Everyone sit down for a minute and get your judging hats on: so I offered to the 18 month old that she could pick out a movie to watch instead.

This is rare. She’s actually never watched a movie before. She knows where they are and she’s seen her big brother pop one on as she’s heading down to bed in the evenings before but its never been her chance before. She ran like a crazed lady down the hall and picked out a Sesame Street DVD she’d been eyeballing titled “Being Green”.

Let me fill you in on the premise in case you’re not familiar with this blockbuster film. Elmo and Abby are hosting a telethon with the usual cast of characters manning the phone bank. They’re raising money and awareness for “Being Green” and taking care of the earth by reusing, reducing, and recycling. Now you’re up to speed.

I was impressed when she sat with me on the couch and was paying attention. She pointed out all her favorites “Melmo!” (Elmo), “Abby!”, “Coo-ee!” (Cookie Monster), “Eh-nee!” (Ernie) and was really enjoying her big girl movie time. That is, until Elmo asked Abby to cast a spell to allow him to be Green and take care of the Earth all the time.

If you’ve seen Sesame Street you know two things. First, Abby is not very good with a wand. Second, her parents should demand a tuition refund from that Fairy School – it’s not helping. Needless to say, the furry red monster was suddenly completely green from head to toe. My daughter took one look at me, her face filled with concern, and clasped her hands at her chest as she watched Elmo running across the screen yelling “ELMO IS GREEN!!!” in a panicked fashion.

She screamed at the top of her lungs “Melmo geeeen!” and looked near tears. She hopped off the couch and ran to my husband – screaming and panicking that Melmo was geen. We started to console her and tried to “explain” he was ok and he’d be all better in just a few minutes – but before we could fully console her Cookie Monster snapped, and ate his phone at the phone bank since no one was answering his requests for cookies.

This lead to a tearful child begging him to stop “No Cooo-eee…No!!”. Again, hands clasped at her chest and a concerned look on her face.

At this point, I shut the movie off. I don’t need years of therapy bills for her down the road thanks to “Being Green”. She was concerned for Melmo and Cooo-eee as I put it away and walked her back into the movies and told her to find something else. She chose “Elmo in Grouchland”, and when Elmo and Cookie Monster appeared in normal fashion, she smiled broadly and seemed relieved as she informed us “Melmo better.”

My recommendation to parents? In addition to a consistent daily routine, keep their Muppets the right color. You’ll thank me later.

We opened a bakery

We did it. We decided to start our own little bakery with the goal of making safe goodies for food allergy sufferers to enjoy.

The main goal would be to get our goodies into classroom and birthdays throughout the land to let every kid feel completely normal and part of the group. No more "special" plates for kids. They'll get the same piece of cake or cupcake or cookie that everyone else does. This might not seen like a lot to most people, but to a kid (and the parents of these kids) its monumental.

The Bon Bakery came to be from the delightful way Ben said his name when he was little. "I'm Bon" was always followed by the most infectious, beaming, friendly little smile this world has ever seen. No one on the outside could tell that at a moment's notice, that smile could disappear behind a swollen face and hives thanks to food. Nor could they see the anxiety that any of those reactions could make that smile disappear forever. This bakery is "Bon's" Bakery.

Its driven by his Momma and step-dad who have an insane love of cookies, both our kids, and baking treats. Combining these three loves has driven this passion to a new personal level. We want to help kids like Bon experience things. Hopefully, people who are nervous to cook for an allergy kid will reach out to us. It IS daunting and scary if you're not used to it. After five years of navigating this food allergy jungle - we're veterans, but always looking for new ways to spread our goodies and the message behind them.

We've had a little boy sit alone with a different treat because a classroom treat that was brought in wasn't safe. It hurts. We've had a little boy who has been teased for his different "safe treat" during class parties. It infuriates. And we've had a little boy smile so big and squeeze us so tight when we've been able to recreate something he thought he couldn't have. Its inspiring.

Please visit our Etsy store at http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheBonBakery or find us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TheBonBakery. Help us spread the word and educate people to the needs so many kids and adults face. We might not be able to find a cure, but we've yet to meet a problem that a really good cookie can't make better - especially a safe cookie.

Olan Mills is my Hell

Let’s get the kids pictures taken together!

Clearly, it’s been about 25 years since my mother wrangled two children into an Olan Mills to get pictures taken. Judging by the tone of eagerness and excitement in her voice, portrait studio visits must be comparable to labor in the grand scheme of motherhood: over time you forget the pain and enjoy the end result.

In 25 years I’ll be glad we went. Right now, I think it’ll be 25 years before we try again.

The six year old was a dream getting ready at home. It’s nice when they know how to dress themselves and can follow directions (when they choose to). The 18 month old somehow turned this into 20 minutes of cardio that would leave Jillian Michaels sweating and panting on the living room floor. And that was just getting her dress on, we didn’t get to hair yet.

I’d like to mention, Grandma hadn’t arrived yet either. She wisely showed up about 5 minutes before we had to leave the house – so no prep work for her. I’m writing that move down in my book of “Things to do to my children as revenge when I’m a Grandma”, its right underneath “pay for them to use that TV cart through the grocery store”.

I grabbed the comb and an easy hair clip for the girl and got the kids in the car the minute Grandma showed up.

When we got to the studio, the boy started practicing his smiles. They the most plastic looking faked things of all time. And he couldn’t do them without closing his eyes. Great. As soon as the girl saw the photographer, she erupted into tears. I’m not sure what she thought the lady was going to do to her, but she was petrified.

We get into the room where she screamed and cried and would not get within 10 feet of the photographer. And I had to remain within 1 foot of her at all times. We spent a lot of time cropping my legs out of pictures later that day.

The rest of the day resembled what I think gets edited out of The Biggest Loser day one work outs. Two grown women jumping up and down in outrageous manners, sweat pouring down them, making crazy faces, while someone sits in the corner and screams and cries (I’m referring to the girl, not myself). Finally, we told the photographer to just keep snapping and we’ll do what we can.

Half our pictures feature a screaming baby and a boy with the fakest forced smile ever plastered on his faces as he nervously glances at his partner in crime out of the corner of his eye. Another 49 percent of the pictures feature that same fake smile, but this time a very mad little girl clearly giving us all a stern talking to for this torturous afternoon.

But there, in the remaining 1 percent, was one perfect picture of a happy, sincere little boy and his sweetly smiling, calm, happy little sister. Looking precious and perfect and angelic. It’s the kind of picture that comes in picture frames when you buy them. I snagged that sucker up, secretly happy that mother had decided this would be fun.

I also dropped the cash for one of the fake smile screaming fit ones. Someday, 25 years from now, someone’s going to tell my why they don’t want to take my grandkids for pictures. And I’m going to show them why they owe it to me to get it done.

15 Summer Boredom Busters

School ends this week and I’m already scrambling for things to do with my kiddos that do not involve screens – limiting tv/video games/computer time is the goal this summer. But its daunting. Here’s a list of some of the best things I’ve found to do in the past – PLEASE share any ideas you may have too!!

1.       Scavenger Hunts. These are great for kids learning to read and with energy to burn (which sums up my 6 year old!). And the beauty? You can make a new one on a regular basis. Outside you can choose nature items (a green leaf, a small twig, a purple flower, pink rock) or if its raining – make one for the house (a green piece of paper, a lego girl, blue crayon, and a napkin). You can even make one for the car to entertain while on errands (a red car, billboard, gas station, fire truck, moving van). These things are endless. Grab some “prizes” from the Target $1 bins and let them go!

2.       Make art! will fully admit that a lot of times, I do not allow paint out often. But its summer, do it outside! Get some canvases from the art store, washable fingerpaints and throw on the bathing suits (or just a diaper for the younger set) and let them go nuts. You’ll be amazed what they make. And what you’re left with to hang in your home – we did this before and I’ve had people ask where they can BUY prints from the artist hanging in the hallway. My six year old has “commissioned” works for people as a result! Best part? When you’re done – hose those kids down. They’ll think its hilarious.

3.       Playdoh. Yeah, it falls in with the same rules as paint most of the year, but again, it summer – take it outside. We all know what happens when we push the square shape into the playdoh, boring. But what if you press a stick in it? Or a funny shaped rock? Or a leaf? Encourage the kids to sculpt things they see, or things they don’t. Imagining far off adventures in the backyard is good for the soul!

4.       Wash your car. This serves two purposes: your car is clean and your kids are happily excited. For as long as I can recall, my son has loved washing cars. If you throw him a couple of bucks for helping, it teaches him to work for something – which I love!!! But beyond that, letting him play in the sudsy water, rub a big ‘ol messy sponge on the car, and let it (and him) get sprayed down with the hose is tons of fun. Our neighbors probably can’t figure out why I “obsess” about the car…but really I’m just entertaining the kid!

5.       Water your lawn. Same thing as the car. Set that sprinkler up and show those kids how its done. The sprinkler outranks the kiddy pool and slip and slide at our house. There’s something extra free about using your dad’s sprinkler to have the time of your life running around like a fool in the yard. You can twirl, roll, kick, and run with all your might – everything a kid likes to do. BONUS POINTS: put your insecurities or whatever away and get in that sprinkler. The kids will be talking about it for days. You’re making memories here people!

6.       Go to the library. It’s free people. Most libraries have summer reading programs (we’ve earned more silly little toys the last few summers!), this is great for many reasons. First, it keeps the kids entertained without breaking your bank. There is no shortage on entertainment in books. Secondly, it keeps their skills up for the school year. At some point they DO go back to school and it’d be nice if they remember SOME of what they learned the previous year. Lastly, you’re giving them a lifelong gift. Reading is power and reading is important to get where you want to be in life. Plant that seed young. Grab yourself a book, set the example. Create a cozy reading spot and time in the house for some daily quiet time for EVERYONE to enjoy.

7.       Google your city. Our city is full of things that are free for kids to check out. Art fairs, festivals, children’s concerts, park parties, story hours, and many other things. We wandered a free Civil War camp reenactment two years back and our six year old STILL talks about that and remembers things. Keep those little brains going!

 

8.       Go old school. Remember being a kid and playing games outside all day in the summers? We had limited options really, but kids now days aren’t as isolated. Remember back to being a kid and invite some friends over to join in some old school fun. Ever play kick the can? Capture the Flag? Red Rover? Hopscotch? Leap Frog? Duck Duck Goose? Red Light, Green Light? Mother May I? Simon Says? I bet most of your kids haven’t. Heck, reading that list, my kids don’t even know all of those. Show them how it’s done!

9.       Celebrate something silly. There’s a million places to find wacky holidays that really exist, so live it up. July 7 is ice cream cone day – make an ice cream bar! June 20 is juggling day. Give it whirl – just don’t get discouraged. July 19 is New Friends Day – head to the park with one goal in mind: MAKE A FRIEND! There’s plenty of sites to check out (here’s one example: http://www.squidoo.com/365holidays) but make any day special.

10.   Make summer bucket list. Sometimes, your kids are the best ones at coming up with things they want to do. And often times, they’ll shock you. Some goals my son has made in the past? Be able to ride his bike to Grandma’s house (she lives 1 mile away), learn to whistle, learn to snap his fingers, and see a bird’s nest. Really? I’m freaking out about how to afford 800 lessons, trips, play dates, and other things and THIS is what you want to do? I love it. We’ve done it all. I’m excited for this year’s list!

11.   Hit up the Farmer’s Market. Between the people watching and all of the new sights and smells, your kids will be entertained. You’ll be able to find some fresh fruits and veggies to fill their bellies too! AND they might just be more willing to eat it if they were a part of getting it. Worth a shot, right?

12.   Make fort. Indoors or outdoors, forts rock. You can read in there, play in there, draw pictures, take a nap, eat your lunch – and pretend all sorts of fantastic things. You’d be amazed how far a couple of chairs and a sheet can take your kids.

13.   Play board games. We love board games at our house but from what I’ve seen visiting friends some of that is getting lost. Makes me sad. Spruce up your collection. Our favorites include Phineas and Ferb, Sorry, Connect Four, ISpy, and Chutes and Ladders. Not only are the kid entertained but they’ll start talking. Again, the memories and relationship you’re building over a couple of dice is priceless.

14.   Bake something awesome. My son loves to flip through my cookbooks (usually the ones involving cakes or cookies) and picking out something to bake. He loves going to the store to carefully choose his ingredients, then puts on his apron and helps measure, stir, and prep everything. The oven is my domain, but he’s ready to share whatever he’s made and is always very proud to see his final work.

15.   Have a picnic. Go all out. Pack sandwiches, some light sides, desserts, and drinks. Spread out the blanket and enjoy an old fashioned picnic. Some menu ideas: turkey and cheese sandwiches, sunbutter sandwiches (I’m sure some of you can do peanut butter), crackers, grapes, apples, strawberries, popcorn, watermelon, cookies, and whatever other goodies your kids love. Change things up and keep them entertained.

There’s some things to get you started. Really, just use your imagination. Kids are simple. They want to have fun, they want to be a part of things, and they want to be with you. Notice I did not say anything about making time to check your facebook, email, words with friends, or whatever other silly games you play. Save that for nap time or bed time.

You’ve got three short, precious months to enjoy your kids at the ages they are. No second chances. Think outside the box, get a little crazy, and enjoy every last bit of it. And if you have other ideas – please share!! I gotta get through a whole summer too!!!

The end of Kindergarten hurts more

I do believe, that the end of kindergarten may be harder than the start of kindergarten.

On the first day, he looked so small. So scared. And so alone. I was worried if he’d get lost, miss me, have any friends, feel scared, or just get lost in the shuffle. I worried that the teacher would not look at him and see the amazing child I had presented to the school but just another face.

As the year progressed, I was clearly wrong. The teacher saw that amazing child. Underneath the hyperactivity that often found him out of his seat and on “the stoplight”. His amazing vocabulary and outgoing personality that manifested its way into many classroom disruptions and talking out of turn. And his level of excitement to be there and desire to learn everything which often appeared as impulsive blurting. There were hands to yourself issues, still are. We’re working on appropriate responses in situations where put downs or shoves have been hurled his way. He’s a boy. He’s six. He’ll get it. It’s still frustrating.

But, through it all, I believe the teacher was able to see what I’ve seen since the first time I met my son 6 years ago – he is brilliant. And smart and most certainly headed places. She stuck by his side and that of me and his father through this year. Offering lessons of both academic and life value to him. Offering counsel and encouragement to two tired parents. But ultimately, becoming a part of his “Team”. A part of our team.

And now the year is coming to an end. And his spot in room 302 will no longer be his. The team we have built and worked with will change. And the person we have grown to trust and love with one of the most important people in our lives will shift her attention to new little spirits needing guidance. With his food allergies on top of everything else, we have trusted his life in her hands and she’s been as vigilant as we would have been.

The last day of kindergarten is the hardest because he is not my little guy anymore. He’s a “grader”. An old pro at school, no longer my sweet little child exploring what the big kids do. And we’re left facing a new worry and reality about the new school year and the new teacher, longing to bring this year’s teacher along to first grade for our comfort.

I’ve already cried more at the end than I did at the start. I’m proud of what my son accomplished. I’m proud of where he going. I’m thankful for an amazing teacher who has become such a profound influence on him and supportive cheerleader for me along the way.

Summer vacation isn’t just about kids getting a break. It’s for mothers to come to terms with their children getting older and prepare for embracing their new teammate come fall.

Thank you Mrs. Y. My son is a better kid and will be a better man for all you’ve done and endured this school year.

Bird Brained Festivities

Did you have a good Memorial Day? We sure did. It was sunny, close to 90, a little humid, and we just redid the play area in the back yard. It was the perfect recipe for a day of fun in the sun family memories.

But, like every other day that I pray will become a cherished memory something always goes awry.

We were good as we played in the sprinklers, got the kids pool filled, had a water fight, munched a few snacks, and had some neighbor kids over. The swinging was great, the new fort worked well, and millions of bubbles were blown, chased, and popped. After a long winter inside, we were finally outside and at the request of our son, we decided to eat outside too.

I took one step toward the house to gather what I needed and heard a pop, then felt a squish. As I looked down, I was standing IN a baby bird. I’m assuming he fell out of a nest somewhere high in the tree that covers part of our yard.

Immediately, my normally rough and tumble ninja/warrior/brave boy was a sobbing mess. It was like the end of Old Yeller in the backyard.

“Why did you step on him mom?!”

Really? I’m hosing birdy off my foot and he thinks I did this on purpose? I assured him that other than the bird, I was probably the most disturbed party involved in this mess. There is squished bird ON MY BAREFOOT.

This led to “Why was he there? Where is his mom? Why did this happen?” and a litany of others.

To get him off the topic, I decided to try and get the bird out of the yard. The shovel just made a bigger mess, the little trowel somehow sent feathers everywhere – finally my husband quietly came over and told me “I think I’m just going to have to mow him – he’s really into the grass.”

Gross.

I moved the kids along and got them to forget about him. Hands were washed, dinner was cooked and as I approached the picnic table to give our son his plate, he was holding something in his hand and investigating it. If you have a six year old boy, you know where this is going. It was a “chunk” of our bird buddy.

I may have freaked out more then, than when it was on my foot. I marched him in, made him wash his hands three times. I washed them once. And we purelled the living daylights out of the kid. I was about ready to cancel eating outside (I hate it anyway with all the bugs that fly around). But we got to the table, sans bird, and enjoyed a meal.

As our daughter finished her meal, my husband plopped her onto the ground to play for a few minutes – RIGHT ON TOP OF THE DAMN BIRD. I may have lost my cool for a moment when asking him why my darling baby was now SITTING in dead bird. I’m not sure how, but he claims he forgot the bird was there. Temporary insanity possibly? Maybe.

By the end of the day, the bird was scrubbed off the baby’s legs and butt as well. We’re all bird free. And my lawn is getting mowed today.

And I’m guessing, while it’s not the stuff of Hallmark movies, we made plenty of memories we won’t be forgetting any time soon.

Free awesomeness! (I checked it out)

I am all about saving money. I grew up in a great Dutch town devoted to pinching pennies but still being fabulous – which is exactly why I like to find deals whenever I can.

A few weeks ago, I found an AWESOME site called Sneakpeeq.com and I got a FREE leather bracelet which I LOVE! And it was free. No gimmicks, no catch, no shipping. I know this is supposed to be too good to be true.

I just got notified that new members get a FREE bamboo ring AND right now FREE OPI nail polish! I almost regret signing up a few weeks ago. If you haven’t signed up with them yet, seriously do it. You’ll look fabulous and spend zero dollars!

CLICK HERE FOR A FREE RING!

The OPI deal is VERY limited time deal (this weekend only I heard) but the ring should be around a bit. Why wait though?