We are Never Ever Ever Going Grocery Shopping!

This weekend, we had a trip to the grocery store for the record books with our 20 month old daughter. Since then, I've had a little tune in my head and feel the urge to share it with every overworked, overtired, parent just trying to get through the day with a very strong willed child in tow!

If you live under a rock and are not familiar with the orginal song, you can find the lyrics that inspired this here: http://bit.ly/SfNWDW

We are Never Ever Ever Going Grocery Shopping...together.

(adapted from Taylor Swift's "We are Never Ever Getting Back Together")

I remember when you freaked out - the first time.

Saying this is what I want, I want it now, gimme.
We hadn't been inside the store 5 minutes
When you said you needed a toy - what?

Then you come around again and say -
Momma, I'm sorry and I swear I will behave.
Trust me, remember how that lasted for an aisle?
I say - we don't need it, we argue, you cry, I love you.
 
Oooh we need something for dinner tonight
But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you
We are never ever ever going grocery shopping together
We are never ever ever going grocery shopping together
You go talk to the baker
Talk to the deli-guy
Talk to me
But we are never ever ever going grocery shopping together

Like ever...

I'm really gonna miss your whining fits
And me, falling for them screaming them I'm right
And you, will hide away behind a Cheez-it display,
eyeing some mom that's much cooler than I.

Oooh we need something for dinner tonight

But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you
We are never ever ever going grocery shopping together
We are never ever ever going grocery shopping together
You go talk to the manager
Talk to that angry guy
Talk to me
But we are never ever ever going grocery shopping

I used to think, that we were so much better than that

And I used to say, my kid would never....

[spoken] 

Hun, she's scaring old ladies over a pack of oeros

and she's like "Momma, you're pretty - please?"
And I'm like, I'm just, I mean this is exhausting, you know?
We are ever ever going grocery shopping together, like ever.

We are never ever ever going grocery shopping together

We are never ever ever going grocery shopping together
You go talk to your father
Talk to him...
Oh yeah, I called him
Because we are never ever ever going grocery shopping

-------

Sing it loud and proud mommas! I know I'm not the only one ;)

 

We may have been robbed, but I don't care

Right now, my house is a mess. It's possible we were robbed but I'd be hard pressed to tell the difference between an actual ransacking of the place or the simple trail of happiness my kids have left behind. I should not be sitting on my couch, under my favorite blanket, watching a crime show that will probably freak me out the rest of the day, while listening to my neighbor mow the lawn.

My kitchen is a mess.

The bathroom needs to be cleaned.

Laundry needs to be folded.

The floors could use some serious attention.

I should shower, do my hair, and my nails. I'm heading out for my husband's birthday dinner tonight. We have a sitter all lined up (thanks grandma and grandpa!) so I'll be getting a hot meal without any crayons located anywhere on, or under, the table.
But I declared that today, Momma was taking a break. A glorious 2-2 1/2 hour break during naptime. I have a sweet embroidery project I've been wanting to dig into (my eyes needed a break after 45 minutes!). I have a list of possible books to read that I wanted to look into further. New recipes I wanted to find. I missed my blanket, my creepy shows, and the mere silence of being alone with my thoughts. For the duration of one nap, I'm doing precisely what I want to.
The dishes will still be there.
The tub can be scrubbed in the morning.
Another spin in the dryer never hurt laundry.

The floors shall be swept tomorrow.

The ransacked look around us is what I'm calling "Memory Chic". My kids play hard, laugh hard, and love hard. This house and the mother sitting in it are both wearing the evidence of this proudly. So today, instead of trying to "fix" what they've created, I'm "fixing" myself and feeding my soul to great a sweet little fresh-from-nap sleepy eyed girl with the same level of happy, devoted, love that greets me every day.

Be selfish moms. Kick back, relax, and recharge. Your kids will remember the giggles, hugs, and snuggles  much more than they'll ever recall your preparations for a Better Homes and Gardens photo shoot that will probably never happen.

Housework is temporary, childhood memories are forever.

Forget the paycheck, focus on the peoplecheck.

Another day another dollar at the day job. I feel like the “norm” in my work place, and many others, in this current economic climate is to complain about work and the conditions we work for. I will not. There are definitely things I would love to improve at my workplace (most notably, I need more digits on my pay checks!) but I’ve been thinking lately about all the non-monetary things that make this job so great to me.

I work around 45 hours per week. And I commute 1 hour each way to get to this office. I have to pay for daycare for a 1 year old and some before school care for a 6 year old.  The first 16 hours of my work week cover the “expenses” of me getting here to work. I won’t begin bringing my lunches and health insurance costs into this – my husband does work so it’s not like I am completely solo here.

Nonetheless, it’s depressing when I look at it like that. Especially when I think of how long I am away from my home and how badly I long to take care of my children, house, and husband better. Just because I want to dominate the working world does not mean I don’t want to be a domestic goddess as well, after all. I also know, thanks to the number of working moms available to commiserate with in the world, that I am not alone in this.

I urge us all to stop for a moment and look around though. Times are tough. We all want more money and I promise you our companies do too. Maybe they’d share if they got it, maybe they wouldn’t; but there are very few companies that are bringing in what they feel they “should”. They’re in the same boat as us. What we need to lean on now is the “personal paycheck” and not the paper one.

On my birthday, cupcakes and a card appeared on my desk. Signed by everyone in the office and some emails from off-site accounts poured in also. I did not tell anyone it was my birthday, I do not make it a habit to “friend” co-workers on social sites (I DO need vent some!), but my company posts our birthdays every month to keep us all engaged. When my children are sick, my office set me up with a remote desk top so I can work from home to preserve personal days and vacation time. They could tell me I’m on my own, deal with it. My schedule right now is varied for allergy treatments for my son – not only does the boss let me have the time but he checks in from time to time to see how the treatments are going. My boss and co-workers know my husband’s name, my children, and some of the big things happening. They ask for updates and offer support. My son sold over $300 for his school fundraiser in this office. I did no selling, I just set the form on my desk and they passed it around. He got the prize he wanted :)

They rolled out a new recognition system that’s like Facebook. We can post “good job” notes on people’s walls. The grumbling has already started about the low pay and wanting more tangible goods but I guess I do not agree. Would a key chain make the work place better? No. But the hot cocoa, Dunkin Donuts coffee, teas, and other drinks we’re granted do. Would another 15 cents an hour really make me happier? Honestly, I probably wouldn’t even notice it. But when I worked late one night during a snow storm and the VP of Operations brushed my car off in the cold and dark so I wouldn’t have to – that definitely made me happier.

Stop focusing on what you don’t have and be thankful for what you do. A paycheck, some cupcakes, and a little appreciation for a job well done.

First grade check in

First grade is going MUCH better than kindergarten. Must be because B is just so smart and advanced ;)

Today, the teacher put on some music while the kids were doing their work. And the teacher reported to us that:

"B does a great B.B. King impression!" and urged him to bust it out.

He finally did at dinner, and he does an AMAZING B.B. King impression.

I'm not sure what it had to do with math class, but I love this teacher already.

My perfect child

My son has allergies, as I've mentioned before. He wants a cat or dog so badly that  part of me does believe him when he tells me it actually HURTS his heart. But, as long as the doctor says its asthma inducing and snot nose causing, we're steering clear of the cats and dogs. We got the ok last fall to get him a hamster. I was excited because my parents didn't let hamsters in the house when I was six.

It was a glorious plan. We got him the biggest deluxe cage we could find. And I spent an entire Saturday afternoon "interviewing" potential hamsters at my local Petco. I'd like to give a shout-out to the associate who helped the crazy mom find the "right" hamster.

B is hooked on Humphrey the Hamster books...and I found a good imitation. I was sure he'd name him Humphrey. And when we lifted the GIANT box that was covering the cage under the Christmas tree last winter B's face lit up, the hamster was named Humphrey and they became best friends in two seconds. Humphrey moved into B's room - because he's a big boy now at six. And because they're best friends. B played with him, cleaned the cage, and read books to Humphrey daily.

He then became allergic to the hamster in the spring. Not "get rid of your best friend" bad. But "he can't be in your room and you can no longer clean his cage". He became the dad. And in most cases, mom became the one cleaning the cage while B chased the ball and played and had all the fun.

I've been cleaning this cage over the months and this week, we ran behind schedule for B to "help" so I did it after he was in bed tonight. I found myself talking to hamster and loving the fact that he sat there and looked at me and did not interrupt. He went right into the ball when I asked, so I could clean the cage while he played. And he did not go "under foot" while I was working. When I finished, I took him out of the ball and held him for a minute, petting him and loving that he just hung out and let me love him for a minute.

I realized two things: First, the hamster is the perfect child. Second, who the hell am I kidding - I'm a 32 year old woman with a pet hamster.

Six year old me would be impressed.

"Melmo Geen!" trauma on Sesame Street

Parenting 101 factoid: Consistency is important for kids.

I’m not just talking about the daily routines or similar caregivers – this apparently goes much deeper than I ever realized or experienced with my oldest child.

I was laid up on Monday with a case of the Mondays paired with a massive allergy attack, it was far from a pretty day at our house. My oldest is visiting his dad this week and the youngest headed off to daycare so I could attempt to rest (she’s teething and I feel like I have newborn again at night on top of all this).

When she arrived home, she wanted to read some books. Normally I love it, but Monday all I wanted to do was continue laying on the couch with my eyes closed. Everyone sit down for a minute and get your judging hats on: so I offered to the 18 month old that she could pick out a movie to watch instead.

This is rare. She’s actually never watched a movie before. She knows where they are and she’s seen her big brother pop one on as she’s heading down to bed in the evenings before but its never been her chance before. She ran like a crazed lady down the hall and picked out a Sesame Street DVD she’d been eyeballing titled “Being Green”.

Let me fill you in on the premise in case you’re not familiar with this blockbuster film. Elmo and Abby are hosting a telethon with the usual cast of characters manning the phone bank. They’re raising money and awareness for “Being Green” and taking care of the earth by reusing, reducing, and recycling. Now you’re up to speed.

I was impressed when she sat with me on the couch and was paying attention. She pointed out all her favorites “Melmo!” (Elmo), “Abby!”, “Coo-ee!” (Cookie Monster), “Eh-nee!” (Ernie) and was really enjoying her big girl movie time. That is, until Elmo asked Abby to cast a spell to allow him to be Green and take care of the Earth all the time.

If you’ve seen Sesame Street you know two things. First, Abby is not very good with a wand. Second, her parents should demand a tuition refund from that Fairy School – it’s not helping. Needless to say, the furry red monster was suddenly completely green from head to toe. My daughter took one look at me, her face filled with concern, and clasped her hands at her chest as she watched Elmo running across the screen yelling “ELMO IS GREEN!!!” in a panicked fashion.

She screamed at the top of her lungs “Melmo geeeen!” and looked near tears. She hopped off the couch and ran to my husband – screaming and panicking that Melmo was geen. We started to console her and tried to “explain” he was ok and he’d be all better in just a few minutes – but before we could fully console her Cookie Monster snapped, and ate his phone at the phone bank since no one was answering his requests for cookies.

This lead to a tearful child begging him to stop “No Cooo-eee…No!!”. Again, hands clasped at her chest and a concerned look on her face.

At this point, I shut the movie off. I don’t need years of therapy bills for her down the road thanks to “Being Green”. She was concerned for Melmo and Cooo-eee as I put it away and walked her back into the movies and told her to find something else. She chose “Elmo in Grouchland”, and when Elmo and Cookie Monster appeared in normal fashion, she smiled broadly and seemed relieved as she informed us “Melmo better.”

My recommendation to parents? In addition to a consistent daily routine, keep their Muppets the right color. You’ll thank me later.

We opened a bakery

We did it. We decided to start our own little bakery with the goal of making safe goodies for food allergy sufferers to enjoy.

The main goal would be to get our goodies into classroom and birthdays throughout the land to let every kid feel completely normal and part of the group. No more "special" plates for kids. They'll get the same piece of cake or cupcake or cookie that everyone else does. This might not seen like a lot to most people, but to a kid (and the parents of these kids) its monumental.

The Bon Bakery came to be from the delightful way Ben said his name when he was little. "I'm Bon" was always followed by the most infectious, beaming, friendly little smile this world has ever seen. No one on the outside could tell that at a moment's notice, that smile could disappear behind a swollen face and hives thanks to food. Nor could they see the anxiety that any of those reactions could make that smile disappear forever. This bakery is "Bon's" Bakery.

Its driven by his Momma and step-dad who have an insane love of cookies, both our kids, and baking treats. Combining these three loves has driven this passion to a new personal level. We want to help kids like Bon experience things. Hopefully, people who are nervous to cook for an allergy kid will reach out to us. It IS daunting and scary if you're not used to it. After five years of navigating this food allergy jungle - we're veterans, but always looking for new ways to spread our goodies and the message behind them.

We've had a little boy sit alone with a different treat because a classroom treat that was brought in wasn't safe. It hurts. We've had a little boy who has been teased for his different "safe treat" during class parties. It infuriates. And we've had a little boy smile so big and squeeze us so tight when we've been able to recreate something he thought he couldn't have. Its inspiring.

Please visit our Etsy store at http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheBonBakery or find us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TheBonBakery. Help us spread the word and educate people to the needs so many kids and adults face. We might not be able to find a cure, but we've yet to meet a problem that a really good cookie can't make better - especially a safe cookie.