Tuesday, March 1, 2011

"You work here? I need a salesman."

I come from a long line of strong women. Mostly because they can't stay married for long and end up with no other choice, but strong all the same. I can change the oil in my car, I can fix many things around the house, I am the breadwinner in my marriage, and I am succsesful in a mostly male industry. While I don't routinely burn my bras (although I have a few underwires I'm tempted to) I have spent the last five years hoping that my son is taking notes and learning that he better respect women because we can do whatever he can. Then my husband and I had a daughter and its come to a new level.

I have to pass these skills on as they were passed to me - minus the ability to drive a man away in 2 years or less.

The first chance to do so arrived yesterday when I took my sister to look for a car with my daughter and 2 year old niece in tow. The greatest moment did not come when we asked technical questions of the salesmen (eyebrows raised before answers were given) or when we haggled some of the prices down into our range then told them "we'd think about it". It came in a used car lot no where near ANYTHING - when my 1 month old decided to poop and completely fill her outfit!

It was magical as we wedged her into the front seat and my sister and I stripped her down nekkid in the front seat in the used car parking lot with a bunch of mechanics watching and get her changed into a new outfit. The whole time my niece is in the back seat waving a burpl cloth screaming "da baby needs dis!!!!" My sister and I are covered in bright yellow breastFed baby poo but we did not panic, we remained strong in our abilities and the mission at hand as mommies. Wiping ourselves with wipes and using hand sanitizer, we get her diaper packed away, and my sister gets out and walks up to the mechanics and says "You work here? I need a salesman."

After a very nervous, barely out of high school kid showed us the in's and out's of the vehicle in question, we climbed back into our car and left the used car lot. We may not have found the car (yet!) but we handled a mommy crisis and never broke stride in our ability to still be strong, competent women.

Lessons learned:
1. Don't go to the used car lot near nothing with a baby that hasn't pooed all day. There is no 1999 Malibu on the planet worth that nightmare.
2. Put some plastic bags in the diaper bag. A McDonald's cup will contain an overloaded diaper and half a package of used poo filled wipes - but what if you don't have older kids and therefore, there are not McDonald's cups hidden underneat the seats of your car?
3. Want to let a salesman know not to mess with you? Let him watch you soak your hands in baby poo, wipe it off, shake his hand, and ask him for the truth...that takes balls.
4. The 2 year old needs to be at daycare next time. I don't think I need to elaborate here.
5. We're all going to be ok and these girls will grow up fine with role models that can literally handle anything at any time and any place. And if they can't - they'll know they can call their mamas.

We found a few car options ,we're going back out tomorrow so I'm sure to have more fabulous tales for you.