On the FIFTH Day of our Christmas

On the FIFTH day of our Christmas the gift we gave our kids was: all our love. Sorry we're late, but a blog post was suddenly not so important last night.

Yesterday morning, I got a 6 year old ready for school. We talked about the spelling test he'd been studying for all week and how well I knew he'd do. We talked about which morning snack he wanted to bring, to make sure his morning was great. His lunch was packed with a wonderful compromise of the healthy foods I wanted and the favorite foods he wanted. It was "Santa's Workshop" day too - the kids would all make crafty presents for their family members. He was excited and looking forward to the day. We put on his winter coat and boots, made sure his backpack was ready for his day, and hopped in the car. I dropped him off to his before-school ride and told him "I love you, have a good day. I know you can do it" and I went to work without really giving our morning another thought.

I'm sure in a small Connecticut town a mom like me, with a boy like B, went through the same motions.

I'm sure neither of us thought to address what to do in case a crazed gunman entered the school. We didn't remind the kids of safety measures or talk with them about escape routes from their classrooms.  Why would we? They're little kids. They're six years old.

But at the end of the day, I got to hold my baby in my arms again - along with his little sister. I was glad I had told him I loved him and glad he had been safe.

The other mother was not so lucky.

This hits home. Random shootings are a tragedy no matter what. They are always senseless and never fair. Regardless of circumstances or victims I am always left shaking my head and wondering what could make one person hate so many, many they never knew, so deeply they could kill. But this wasn't that random. An angry adult for reasons unknown chose to target innocent children as they went about their day of learning at their school with their friends.

I can't tell you how many tears I have shed since this news came. I've cried out of the deepest and sincerest form of empathy and sympathy I can muster for the parents, siblings, friends, teachers, and town of Newtown. Sandy Hook Elementary was never on my radar before but now it's at the forefront of my mind and heart. Seeing the children crying and streaming from the school while visibly shaken parents run by searching for their child makes me want to head to the town, start knocking on doors, and personally just hug everyone. Door to door. I wish there was something I could do to truly make this better. Something I could say.  But I know there is not.

The best I can do is offer this bit of promise to those parents: your children will never be forgotten. They will in all of our hearts, especially mine forever. In their short time with us, your children have reminded us all how important life is and how we must value every second. They opened our eyes to what mattered, how to love more fully, and to never take a moment for granted. Because of your children, our world got smaller, the love got bigger, the prayers stronger. People's lives have forever been moved and transformed for the better, even through this evil tragedy.

In honor of the mothers of Newton, I will hug my children extra each night, kiss them one more time, tell them how much I love them, and thank God for them more than before. My tears are not only from pure sadness but from a sense of gratitude for the awakening your children have given this world.

Please pray for Newtown. Pray for the new angel Heaven received yesterday and thank God for wrapping them up in his arms. While there are still many questions here on Earth and countless broken hearts, He will help us all through this and give these families the strength they need to carry on. Your children are our angels now and angels are never forgotten.

On the FOURTH Day or our Christmas

On the FOURTH day of our Christmas the gift we gave our kids was: letting them wrap their presents for us and put them under the tree!

The wrap jobs are certainly not from the mall professionals. B may have hurt himself on the tape dispenser (it's just a little scratch!) and if you touch any of these gifts the paper will probably rip and show what is inside.

But the pride and joy on B's face as he wrapped these gifts, chose the tags, and filled them out in his shaky six year old penmanship is something that will never be forgotten. He and L picked out gifts for their parents and put them under the tree as a great surprise.
On the fourth day we gave them pride in giving. An excellent gift!

The THIRD Day of our Christmas

On the THIRD day of our Christmas the gift we gave our kids was: Rest.

The boy has the flu. The girl hand,foot,mouth disease (love our daycare, could do without that).
So on the third day of our Christmas I gave them the gift of one of my precious vacation days.  That's big. If I could find a way to unveil that in a manner similar to those Lexus Christmas ads with the giant red bows on them, I would. Its up there. No joke.
I also gave them: a bland diet for the boy, some lotion for the girl, and early bedtimes for both!
Dad can give them the gift of his vacations days tomorrow. :)

The Second Day of our Christmas...

On the SECOND day of our Christmas, the gift we gave our kids were: HOMEMADE STOCKINGS!

Okay, I didn't bust these out in a day. Not at all. But I found a GREAT pattern on Pinterest back in September, planned ahead and then learned how to embroider - then I got to work!
First, hats off to a GREAT pattern here at the Fabricworm Blog, it was great for a beginner like me.
I hit up Joann's and everyone picked out their favorite fabric and name color to give them a personal touch but I love that they are simple, clearly homemade (but not tacky!), and still let us all have our own style about them.
The kids are in awe of them and I have to admit, the new stockings actually got mention in my son's letter to Santa.

I'm kind of a big deal around here.

The FIRST Day of our Christmas

The twelve days of OUR Christmas start today :) My son will be traveling to see his father for Christmas Day so I made a call to Santa and asked him to stop by a few days early. Luckily for my kids, I was always a great client of Santa's back in the day and he was beyond willing to oblige with a trip to our house on the night of December 21.

On the FIRST day of our Christmas, the gift I gave we gave our kids was: COOKIE MAKING MEMORIES!

 

Christmas cookie making is a long standing tradition in our family. I remember being a small 5 year old girl standing on a dining room chair in the kitchen of my grandmother as she expertly made dough and rolled it out to the perfect thickness. She had what felt like a hundred cookie cutters waiting for us, all destined for greatness one adorned with colored icing, sprinkles, red hot candies, and little silver balls.

The kitchen was full of bags of flour, sugar, and mixing bowls all put to good use. The stove was crowded with pots and pans full of candies and chocolate mixtures in the making. It smelled amazing and looked like the single most important duty for the holidays to the eyes of an enchanted five year old. My grandma was the most amazing baker I had seen. I'm pretty sure she had most of those recipes memorized, a fact that hurts now that I do not have copies of them all to pass on. She knew what to do, how to fix "mistakes", and exactly when to take cookies out of the oven at the moment they reach perfection. More than 25 years later, I am still working on that skill. Maybe it's something only a grandmother can do.

I am not a grandmother, although I feel that old some days! I am a mother longing to create memories with my children and family that will live on fondly in their hearts even once I am gone. Just like my warm memories of Grandma Cocoa's baking days.

My son is not interested in the baking aspect and my daughter a little young still (but I have hope for her!) so the rolling, cutting, and baking of the cookies fell on my shoulders. Turning on the Christmas music and starting at my task I was taken back to that brown and blue kitchen I loved back in 1985. I do not have the hundreds of cookie cutters Grandma Cocoa did but I have a few and my kids chose two that they'd like to decorate; gingerbread men and Christmas trees, two of my favorites.

I like to think they both inherited her amazing cookie skills and made some memories of hanging out with their parents around the holidays. Their parents definitely cherished the time.

The Elf on the Shelf

I have seen the many insane Elf on the Shelf tricks posted on Pinterest and blogs galore this time of year. I have also see the posts declaring the “overachieving moms” crazy for the lengths they go through to keep their children enchanted this time of the year.

I’ve also see the real news and decided there are bigger things I could be debating and choose to remain out of this one.

We do, however participate in the Elf on the Shelf tradition. Every year Kiki the Elf appears and moves about the house. We have never forgotten to move him, but hanging upside down is about as creative as we get. It’s ok though, our son (who is almost 7) loves this guy and truly believes he is a direct link to Santa. If nothing else, we get about a month of good behavior.

We had no idea what we were in for as we busted Kiki out this year, with an almost 2 year old on our hands.

While I’ve heard people say they feel the elf is creepy, I never got it. Until I had a little girl sobbing on the floor pointing at a curious elf peeking at her from the fireplace mantle. That should have been my first clue we were in trouble.

As he moved on top of the living room valence, she avoided that part of the room.

When he sat in the dining room window, she ate in the living room.

However, when she spotted him hanging upside down out of a can light in the living room ceiling it proved to be more than she could handle and her real fear was revealed.

 (please note: she doesn’t speak this clearly, but as I am fluent in what she speaks I’ll translate for you dear reader)

“Momma! Help him down!”

“L, he’s fine. He’s just an elf reporting back to Santa”
“He’s gonna fall”
“Nah, he’s holding on tight and he’s got some magic dust up there – he’s fine.”
“Momma pleeeeeease!”
“L, no. He is fine.”
“Momma…JESUS IS STUCK! STUCK! HELP JESUS DOWN!!!”

Aha! She’s not grasping this is an elf, she’s convinced that Jesus has appeared in her home and is putting himself in perilous situations. Apparently, all that money I’m shelling out to the expensive but WONDERFUL church-based daycare is worth it – she’s got the meaning of Christmas down! But, if this is going to continue much longer, I may need to think of a way for the elf to let her brother know he’s on the good list and cut out early.

The Cell Phone Mafia

I will never be the person with the latest and greatest cell phone. The first reason for this is that I am not a person with a large paycheck. I’d rather have groceries than a new phone. The second reason for this is the mere fact that I get confused by cell phones easily.

I have, however, determined one thing about cell phones that I’m moderately proud of and sure no one else has realized before.

Cell phone companies have low-jack on our phones. This low-jack is set to screw up the phone two or three weeks after the phone becomes eligible for a “free” upgrade.

With a two-year contract extension that is.

It never fails that once a year, I get notified I can have a new phone. I’ve told the man at the phone store – I’m not interested. I JUST figured out how to lock the screen on the phone I got LAST year so I no longer hang up on people during phone calls. I still cannot change my ringtone. And when I’m done with some apps I have to turn the phone off and on again. Clearly, I’m not done figuring this one out. No thanks on the upgrade.

But it’s not that easy! The powers that be at the phone company give me that two or three week grace period then BAM! They push the button that makes the screen stop responding as well, the calls to drop, and the voicemail icon to stay on 24/7 even when there is no message. Amazingly, the calls, texts, and emails telling me to sign up for 2 more years and get a free phone never seem to have a problem. I have not even figured out what I’m doing with this one and they want me to get a bigger, better, harder one to navigate?

Coincidence? I think not.

Realistically, I’m at about 2006 on the cell phone technology spectrum. I’m standing strong, sorry to say it cell phone man, but I predict that this thing will probably self-destruct Inspector Gadget style by the time Spring Break rolls around. Well played cell phone makers, well played.

Where are my eyebrows

This morning we suffered a terrible catastrophe at our house.

After a night spent running up and down the stairs to assist a baby with a cough (is there anything sadder or more maddening at 2 in the morning?) I struggled rolling out of bed and getting started. I just kept telling myself to keep my eyes on the prize, there would be coffee in the kitchen.

I was wrong.

I’m not sure how it happened or who to blame, but at this point finger-pointing just seems trivial. The point is, I had to start my day 100% unassisted by my precious black gold (I seriously rely on coffee this much).

I basically lost all ability to function and get us out of the door in good order as a result.

I am unintentionally engaged in a makeup free Monday at work today. So if you see me today, allow me to clear up a few things.

Yes, that is 1 ½ eyebrows on my face. I had a regrettable plucking addiction in my teens and 20’s, now they really don’t grow back (there’s a hint I wish I knew back then).

Yes, I do have pores that big.

Yes, they still get that many little pimples and blemishes.

No, I am not sick. Just pale without a little color added to my cheeks.

I arrived at the office to find we only had decaf coffee in the building. I’m not even sure why we have decaf coffee in the building, let alone why it’s the only option today. But after getting down on my hands and knees and digging through the kitchen cupboards, I found a few caffeinated packs. I also contacted purchasing about this.

Happy Monday everyone. Hope you’ve got all your eyebrows and your caffeine system is full!

We are Never Ever Ever Going Grocery Shopping!

This weekend, we had a trip to the grocery store for the record books with our 20 month old daughter. Since then, I've had a little tune in my head and feel the urge to share it with every overworked, overtired, parent just trying to get through the day with a very strong willed child in tow!

If you live under a rock and are not familiar with the orginal song, you can find the lyrics that inspired this here: http://bit.ly/SfNWDW

We are Never Ever Ever Going Grocery Shopping...together.

(adapted from Taylor Swift's "We are Never Ever Getting Back Together")

I remember when you freaked out - the first time.

Saying this is what I want, I want it now, gimme.
We hadn't been inside the store 5 minutes
When you said you needed a toy - what?

Then you come around again and say -
Momma, I'm sorry and I swear I will behave.
Trust me, remember how that lasted for an aisle?
I say - we don't need it, we argue, you cry, I love you.
 
Oooh we need something for dinner tonight
But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you
We are never ever ever going grocery shopping together
We are never ever ever going grocery shopping together
You go talk to the baker
Talk to the deli-guy
Talk to me
But we are never ever ever going grocery shopping together

Like ever...

I'm really gonna miss your whining fits
And me, falling for them screaming them I'm right
And you, will hide away behind a Cheez-it display,
eyeing some mom that's much cooler than I.

Oooh we need something for dinner tonight

But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you
We are never ever ever going grocery shopping together
We are never ever ever going grocery shopping together
You go talk to the manager
Talk to that angry guy
Talk to me
But we are never ever ever going grocery shopping

I used to think, that we were so much better than that

And I used to say, my kid would never....

[spoken] 

Hun, she's scaring old ladies over a pack of oeros

and she's like "Momma, you're pretty - please?"
And I'm like, I'm just, I mean this is exhausting, you know?
We are ever ever going grocery shopping together, like ever.

We are never ever ever going grocery shopping together

We are never ever ever going grocery shopping together
You go talk to your father
Talk to him...
Oh yeah, I called him
Because we are never ever ever going grocery shopping

-------

Sing it loud and proud mommas! I know I'm not the only one ;)

 

We may have been robbed, but I don't care

Right now, my house is a mess. It's possible we were robbed but I'd be hard pressed to tell the difference between an actual ransacking of the place or the simple trail of happiness my kids have left behind. I should not be sitting on my couch, under my favorite blanket, watching a crime show that will probably freak me out the rest of the day, while listening to my neighbor mow the lawn.

My kitchen is a mess.

The bathroom needs to be cleaned.

Laundry needs to be folded.

The floors could use some serious attention.

I should shower, do my hair, and my nails. I'm heading out for my husband's birthday dinner tonight. We have a sitter all lined up (thanks grandma and grandpa!) so I'll be getting a hot meal without any crayons located anywhere on, or under, the table.
But I declared that today, Momma was taking a break. A glorious 2-2 1/2 hour break during naptime. I have a sweet embroidery project I've been wanting to dig into (my eyes needed a break after 45 minutes!). I have a list of possible books to read that I wanted to look into further. New recipes I wanted to find. I missed my blanket, my creepy shows, and the mere silence of being alone with my thoughts. For the duration of one nap, I'm doing precisely what I want to.
The dishes will still be there.
The tub can be scrubbed in the morning.
Another spin in the dryer never hurt laundry.

The floors shall be swept tomorrow.

The ransacked look around us is what I'm calling "Memory Chic". My kids play hard, laugh hard, and love hard. This house and the mother sitting in it are both wearing the evidence of this proudly. So today, instead of trying to "fix" what they've created, I'm "fixing" myself and feeding my soul to great a sweet little fresh-from-nap sleepy eyed girl with the same level of happy, devoted, love that greets me every day.

Be selfish moms. Kick back, relax, and recharge. Your kids will remember the giggles, hugs, and snuggles  much more than they'll ever recall your preparations for a Better Homes and Gardens photo shoot that will probably never happen.

Housework is temporary, childhood memories are forever.

Forget the paycheck, focus on the peoplecheck.

Another day another dollar at the day job. I feel like the “norm” in my work place, and many others, in this current economic climate is to complain about work and the conditions we work for. I will not. There are definitely things I would love to improve at my workplace (most notably, I need more digits on my pay checks!) but I’ve been thinking lately about all the non-monetary things that make this job so great to me.

I work around 45 hours per week. And I commute 1 hour each way to get to this office. I have to pay for daycare for a 1 year old and some before school care for a 6 year old.  The first 16 hours of my work week cover the “expenses” of me getting here to work. I won’t begin bringing my lunches and health insurance costs into this – my husband does work so it’s not like I am completely solo here.

Nonetheless, it’s depressing when I look at it like that. Especially when I think of how long I am away from my home and how badly I long to take care of my children, house, and husband better. Just because I want to dominate the working world does not mean I don’t want to be a domestic goddess as well, after all. I also know, thanks to the number of working moms available to commiserate with in the world, that I am not alone in this.

I urge us all to stop for a moment and look around though. Times are tough. We all want more money and I promise you our companies do too. Maybe they’d share if they got it, maybe they wouldn’t; but there are very few companies that are bringing in what they feel they “should”. They’re in the same boat as us. What we need to lean on now is the “personal paycheck” and not the paper one.

On my birthday, cupcakes and a card appeared on my desk. Signed by everyone in the office and some emails from off-site accounts poured in also. I did not tell anyone it was my birthday, I do not make it a habit to “friend” co-workers on social sites (I DO need vent some!), but my company posts our birthdays every month to keep us all engaged. When my children are sick, my office set me up with a remote desk top so I can work from home to preserve personal days and vacation time. They could tell me I’m on my own, deal with it. My schedule right now is varied for allergy treatments for my son – not only does the boss let me have the time but he checks in from time to time to see how the treatments are going. My boss and co-workers know my husband’s name, my children, and some of the big things happening. They ask for updates and offer support. My son sold over $300 for his school fundraiser in this office. I did no selling, I just set the form on my desk and they passed it around. He got the prize he wanted :)

They rolled out a new recognition system that’s like Facebook. We can post “good job” notes on people’s walls. The grumbling has already started about the low pay and wanting more tangible goods but I guess I do not agree. Would a key chain make the work place better? No. But the hot cocoa, Dunkin Donuts coffee, teas, and other drinks we’re granted do. Would another 15 cents an hour really make me happier? Honestly, I probably wouldn’t even notice it. But when I worked late one night during a snow storm and the VP of Operations brushed my car off in the cold and dark so I wouldn’t have to – that definitely made me happier.

Stop focusing on what you don’t have and be thankful for what you do. A paycheck, some cupcakes, and a little appreciation for a job well done.

First grade check in

First grade is going MUCH better than kindergarten. Must be because B is just so smart and advanced ;)

Today, the teacher put on some music while the kids were doing their work. And the teacher reported to us that:

"B does a great B.B. King impression!" and urged him to bust it out.

He finally did at dinner, and he does an AMAZING B.B. King impression.

I'm not sure what it had to do with math class, but I love this teacher already.

My perfect child

My son has allergies, as I've mentioned before. He wants a cat or dog so badly that  part of me does believe him when he tells me it actually HURTS his heart. But, as long as the doctor says its asthma inducing and snot nose causing, we're steering clear of the cats and dogs. We got the ok last fall to get him a hamster. I was excited because my parents didn't let hamsters in the house when I was six.

It was a glorious plan. We got him the biggest deluxe cage we could find. And I spent an entire Saturday afternoon "interviewing" potential hamsters at my local Petco. I'd like to give a shout-out to the associate who helped the crazy mom find the "right" hamster.

B is hooked on Humphrey the Hamster books...and I found a good imitation. I was sure he'd name him Humphrey. And when we lifted the GIANT box that was covering the cage under the Christmas tree last winter B's face lit up, the hamster was named Humphrey and they became best friends in two seconds. Humphrey moved into B's room - because he's a big boy now at six. And because they're best friends. B played with him, cleaned the cage, and read books to Humphrey daily.

He then became allergic to the hamster in the spring. Not "get rid of your best friend" bad. But "he can't be in your room and you can no longer clean his cage". He became the dad. And in most cases, mom became the one cleaning the cage while B chased the ball and played and had all the fun.

I've been cleaning this cage over the months and this week, we ran behind schedule for B to "help" so I did it after he was in bed tonight. I found myself talking to hamster and loving the fact that he sat there and looked at me and did not interrupt. He went right into the ball when I asked, so I could clean the cage while he played. And he did not go "under foot" while I was working. When I finished, I took him out of the ball and held him for a minute, petting him and loving that he just hung out and let me love him for a minute.

I realized two things: First, the hamster is the perfect child. Second, who the hell am I kidding - I'm a 32 year old woman with a pet hamster.

Six year old me would be impressed.

"Melmo Geen!" trauma on Sesame Street

Parenting 101 factoid: Consistency is important for kids.

I’m not just talking about the daily routines or similar caregivers – this apparently goes much deeper than I ever realized or experienced with my oldest child.

I was laid up on Monday with a case of the Mondays paired with a massive allergy attack, it was far from a pretty day at our house. My oldest is visiting his dad this week and the youngest headed off to daycare so I could attempt to rest (she’s teething and I feel like I have newborn again at night on top of all this).

When she arrived home, she wanted to read some books. Normally I love it, but Monday all I wanted to do was continue laying on the couch with my eyes closed. Everyone sit down for a minute and get your judging hats on: so I offered to the 18 month old that she could pick out a movie to watch instead.

This is rare. She’s actually never watched a movie before. She knows where they are and she’s seen her big brother pop one on as she’s heading down to bed in the evenings before but its never been her chance before. She ran like a crazed lady down the hall and picked out a Sesame Street DVD she’d been eyeballing titled “Being Green”.

Let me fill you in on the premise in case you’re not familiar with this blockbuster film. Elmo and Abby are hosting a telethon with the usual cast of characters manning the phone bank. They’re raising money and awareness for “Being Green” and taking care of the earth by reusing, reducing, and recycling. Now you’re up to speed.

I was impressed when she sat with me on the couch and was paying attention. She pointed out all her favorites “Melmo!” (Elmo), “Abby!”, “Coo-ee!” (Cookie Monster), “Eh-nee!” (Ernie) and was really enjoying her big girl movie time. That is, until Elmo asked Abby to cast a spell to allow him to be Green and take care of the Earth all the time.

If you’ve seen Sesame Street you know two things. First, Abby is not very good with a wand. Second, her parents should demand a tuition refund from that Fairy School – it’s not helping. Needless to say, the furry red monster was suddenly completely green from head to toe. My daughter took one look at me, her face filled with concern, and clasped her hands at her chest as she watched Elmo running across the screen yelling “ELMO IS GREEN!!!” in a panicked fashion.

She screamed at the top of her lungs “Melmo geeeen!” and looked near tears. She hopped off the couch and ran to my husband – screaming and panicking that Melmo was geen. We started to console her and tried to “explain” he was ok and he’d be all better in just a few minutes – but before we could fully console her Cookie Monster snapped, and ate his phone at the phone bank since no one was answering his requests for cookies.

This lead to a tearful child begging him to stop “No Cooo-eee…No!!”. Again, hands clasped at her chest and a concerned look on her face.

At this point, I shut the movie off. I don’t need years of therapy bills for her down the road thanks to “Being Green”. She was concerned for Melmo and Cooo-eee as I put it away and walked her back into the movies and told her to find something else. She chose “Elmo in Grouchland”, and when Elmo and Cookie Monster appeared in normal fashion, she smiled broadly and seemed relieved as she informed us “Melmo better.”

My recommendation to parents? In addition to a consistent daily routine, keep their Muppets the right color. You’ll thank me later.

We opened a bakery

We did it. We decided to start our own little bakery with the goal of making safe goodies for food allergy sufferers to enjoy.

The main goal would be to get our goodies into classroom and birthdays throughout the land to let every kid feel completely normal and part of the group. No more "special" plates for kids. They'll get the same piece of cake or cupcake or cookie that everyone else does. This might not seen like a lot to most people, but to a kid (and the parents of these kids) its monumental.

The Bon Bakery came to be from the delightful way Ben said his name when he was little. "I'm Bon" was always followed by the most infectious, beaming, friendly little smile this world has ever seen. No one on the outside could tell that at a moment's notice, that smile could disappear behind a swollen face and hives thanks to food. Nor could they see the anxiety that any of those reactions could make that smile disappear forever. This bakery is "Bon's" Bakery.

Its driven by his Momma and step-dad who have an insane love of cookies, both our kids, and baking treats. Combining these three loves has driven this passion to a new personal level. We want to help kids like Bon experience things. Hopefully, people who are nervous to cook for an allergy kid will reach out to us. It IS daunting and scary if you're not used to it. After five years of navigating this food allergy jungle - we're veterans, but always looking for new ways to spread our goodies and the message behind them.

We've had a little boy sit alone with a different treat because a classroom treat that was brought in wasn't safe. It hurts. We've had a little boy who has been teased for his different "safe treat" during class parties. It infuriates. And we've had a little boy smile so big and squeeze us so tight when we've been able to recreate something he thought he couldn't have. Its inspiring.

Please visit our Etsy store at http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheBonBakery or find us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TheBonBakery. Help us spread the word and educate people to the needs so many kids and adults face. We might not be able to find a cure, but we've yet to meet a problem that a really good cookie can't make better - especially a safe cookie.

Olan Mills is my Hell

Let’s get the kids pictures taken together!

Clearly, it’s been about 25 years since my mother wrangled two children into an Olan Mills to get pictures taken. Judging by the tone of eagerness and excitement in her voice, portrait studio visits must be comparable to labor in the grand scheme of motherhood: over time you forget the pain and enjoy the end result.

In 25 years I’ll be glad we went. Right now, I think it’ll be 25 years before we try again.

The six year old was a dream getting ready at home. It’s nice when they know how to dress themselves and can follow directions (when they choose to). The 18 month old somehow turned this into 20 minutes of cardio that would leave Jillian Michaels sweating and panting on the living room floor. And that was just getting her dress on, we didn’t get to hair yet.

I’d like to mention, Grandma hadn’t arrived yet either. She wisely showed up about 5 minutes before we had to leave the house – so no prep work for her. I’m writing that move down in my book of “Things to do to my children as revenge when I’m a Grandma”, its right underneath “pay for them to use that TV cart through the grocery store”.

I grabbed the comb and an easy hair clip for the girl and got the kids in the car the minute Grandma showed up.

When we got to the studio, the boy started practicing his smiles. They the most plastic looking faked things of all time. And he couldn’t do them without closing his eyes. Great. As soon as the girl saw the photographer, she erupted into tears. I’m not sure what she thought the lady was going to do to her, but she was petrified.

We get into the room where she screamed and cried and would not get within 10 feet of the photographer. And I had to remain within 1 foot of her at all times. We spent a lot of time cropping my legs out of pictures later that day.

The rest of the day resembled what I think gets edited out of The Biggest Loser day one work outs. Two grown women jumping up and down in outrageous manners, sweat pouring down them, making crazy faces, while someone sits in the corner and screams and cries (I’m referring to the girl, not myself). Finally, we told the photographer to just keep snapping and we’ll do what we can.

Half our pictures feature a screaming baby and a boy with the fakest forced smile ever plastered on his faces as he nervously glances at his partner in crime out of the corner of his eye. Another 49 percent of the pictures feature that same fake smile, but this time a very mad little girl clearly giving us all a stern talking to for this torturous afternoon.

But there, in the remaining 1 percent, was one perfect picture of a happy, sincere little boy and his sweetly smiling, calm, happy little sister. Looking precious and perfect and angelic. It’s the kind of picture that comes in picture frames when you buy them. I snagged that sucker up, secretly happy that mother had decided this would be fun.

I also dropped the cash for one of the fake smile screaming fit ones. Someday, 25 years from now, someone’s going to tell my why they don’t want to take my grandkids for pictures. And I’m going to show them why they owe it to me to get it done.

15 Summer Boredom Busters

School ends this week and I’m already scrambling for things to do with my kiddos that do not involve screens – limiting tv/video games/computer time is the goal this summer. But its daunting. Here’s a list of some of the best things I’ve found to do in the past – PLEASE share any ideas you may have too!!

1.       Scavenger Hunts. These are great for kids learning to read and with energy to burn (which sums up my 6 year old!). And the beauty? You can make a new one on a regular basis. Outside you can choose nature items (a green leaf, a small twig, a purple flower, pink rock) or if its raining – make one for the house (a green piece of paper, a lego girl, blue crayon, and a napkin). You can even make one for the car to entertain while on errands (a red car, billboard, gas station, fire truck, moving van). These things are endless. Grab some “prizes” from the Target $1 bins and let them go!

2.       Make art! will fully admit that a lot of times, I do not allow paint out often. But its summer, do it outside! Get some canvases from the art store, washable fingerpaints and throw on the bathing suits (or just a diaper for the younger set) and let them go nuts. You’ll be amazed what they make. And what you’re left with to hang in your home – we did this before and I’ve had people ask where they can BUY prints from the artist hanging in the hallway. My six year old has “commissioned” works for people as a result! Best part? When you’re done – hose those kids down. They’ll think its hilarious.

3.       Playdoh. Yeah, it falls in with the same rules as paint most of the year, but again, it summer – take it outside. We all know what happens when we push the square shape into the playdoh, boring. But what if you press a stick in it? Or a funny shaped rock? Or a leaf? Encourage the kids to sculpt things they see, or things they don’t. Imagining far off adventures in the backyard is good for the soul!

4.       Wash your car. This serves two purposes: your car is clean and your kids are happily excited. For as long as I can recall, my son has loved washing cars. If you throw him a couple of bucks for helping, it teaches him to work for something – which I love!!! But beyond that, letting him play in the sudsy water, rub a big ‘ol messy sponge on the car, and let it (and him) get sprayed down with the hose is tons of fun. Our neighbors probably can’t figure out why I “obsess” about the car…but really I’m just entertaining the kid!

5.       Water your lawn. Same thing as the car. Set that sprinkler up and show those kids how its done. The sprinkler outranks the kiddy pool and slip and slide at our house. There’s something extra free about using your dad’s sprinkler to have the time of your life running around like a fool in the yard. You can twirl, roll, kick, and run with all your might – everything a kid likes to do. BONUS POINTS: put your insecurities or whatever away and get in that sprinkler. The kids will be talking about it for days. You’re making memories here people!

6.       Go to the library. It’s free people. Most libraries have summer reading programs (we’ve earned more silly little toys the last few summers!), this is great for many reasons. First, it keeps the kids entertained without breaking your bank. There is no shortage on entertainment in books. Secondly, it keeps their skills up for the school year. At some point they DO go back to school and it’d be nice if they remember SOME of what they learned the previous year. Lastly, you’re giving them a lifelong gift. Reading is power and reading is important to get where you want to be in life. Plant that seed young. Grab yourself a book, set the example. Create a cozy reading spot and time in the house for some daily quiet time for EVERYONE to enjoy.

7.       Google your city. Our city is full of things that are free for kids to check out. Art fairs, festivals, children’s concerts, park parties, story hours, and many other things. We wandered a free Civil War camp reenactment two years back and our six year old STILL talks about that and remembers things. Keep those little brains going!

 

8.       Go old school. Remember being a kid and playing games outside all day in the summers? We had limited options really, but kids now days aren’t as isolated. Remember back to being a kid and invite some friends over to join in some old school fun. Ever play kick the can? Capture the Flag? Red Rover? Hopscotch? Leap Frog? Duck Duck Goose? Red Light, Green Light? Mother May I? Simon Says? I bet most of your kids haven’t. Heck, reading that list, my kids don’t even know all of those. Show them how it’s done!

9.       Celebrate something silly. There’s a million places to find wacky holidays that really exist, so live it up. July 7 is ice cream cone day – make an ice cream bar! June 20 is juggling day. Give it whirl – just don’t get discouraged. July 19 is New Friends Day – head to the park with one goal in mind: MAKE A FRIEND! There’s plenty of sites to check out (here’s one example: http://www.squidoo.com/365holidays) but make any day special.

10.   Make summer bucket list. Sometimes, your kids are the best ones at coming up with things they want to do. And often times, they’ll shock you. Some goals my son has made in the past? Be able to ride his bike to Grandma’s house (she lives 1 mile away), learn to whistle, learn to snap his fingers, and see a bird’s nest. Really? I’m freaking out about how to afford 800 lessons, trips, play dates, and other things and THIS is what you want to do? I love it. We’ve done it all. I’m excited for this year’s list!

11.   Hit up the Farmer’s Market. Between the people watching and all of the new sights and smells, your kids will be entertained. You’ll be able to find some fresh fruits and veggies to fill their bellies too! AND they might just be more willing to eat it if they were a part of getting it. Worth a shot, right?

12.   Make fort. Indoors or outdoors, forts rock. You can read in there, play in there, draw pictures, take a nap, eat your lunch – and pretend all sorts of fantastic things. You’d be amazed how far a couple of chairs and a sheet can take your kids.

13.   Play board games. We love board games at our house but from what I’ve seen visiting friends some of that is getting lost. Makes me sad. Spruce up your collection. Our favorites include Phineas and Ferb, Sorry, Connect Four, ISpy, and Chutes and Ladders. Not only are the kid entertained but they’ll start talking. Again, the memories and relationship you’re building over a couple of dice is priceless.

14.   Bake something awesome. My son loves to flip through my cookbooks (usually the ones involving cakes or cookies) and picking out something to bake. He loves going to the store to carefully choose his ingredients, then puts on his apron and helps measure, stir, and prep everything. The oven is my domain, but he’s ready to share whatever he’s made and is always very proud to see his final work.

15.   Have a picnic. Go all out. Pack sandwiches, some light sides, desserts, and drinks. Spread out the blanket and enjoy an old fashioned picnic. Some menu ideas: turkey and cheese sandwiches, sunbutter sandwiches (I’m sure some of you can do peanut butter), crackers, grapes, apples, strawberries, popcorn, watermelon, cookies, and whatever other goodies your kids love. Change things up and keep them entertained.

There’s some things to get you started. Really, just use your imagination. Kids are simple. They want to have fun, they want to be a part of things, and they want to be with you. Notice I did not say anything about making time to check your facebook, email, words with friends, or whatever other silly games you play. Save that for nap time or bed time.

You’ve got three short, precious months to enjoy your kids at the ages they are. No second chances. Think outside the box, get a little crazy, and enjoy every last bit of it. And if you have other ideas – please share!! I gotta get through a whole summer too!!!

The end of Kindergarten hurts more

I do believe, that the end of kindergarten may be harder than the start of kindergarten.

On the first day, he looked so small. So scared. And so alone. I was worried if he’d get lost, miss me, have any friends, feel scared, or just get lost in the shuffle. I worried that the teacher would not look at him and see the amazing child I had presented to the school but just another face.

As the year progressed, I was clearly wrong. The teacher saw that amazing child. Underneath the hyperactivity that often found him out of his seat and on “the stoplight”. His amazing vocabulary and outgoing personality that manifested its way into many classroom disruptions and talking out of turn. And his level of excitement to be there and desire to learn everything which often appeared as impulsive blurting. There were hands to yourself issues, still are. We’re working on appropriate responses in situations where put downs or shoves have been hurled his way. He’s a boy. He’s six. He’ll get it. It’s still frustrating.

But, through it all, I believe the teacher was able to see what I’ve seen since the first time I met my son 6 years ago – he is brilliant. And smart and most certainly headed places. She stuck by his side and that of me and his father through this year. Offering lessons of both academic and life value to him. Offering counsel and encouragement to two tired parents. But ultimately, becoming a part of his “Team”. A part of our team.

And now the year is coming to an end. And his spot in room 302 will no longer be his. The team we have built and worked with will change. And the person we have grown to trust and love with one of the most important people in our lives will shift her attention to new little spirits needing guidance. With his food allergies on top of everything else, we have trusted his life in her hands and she’s been as vigilant as we would have been.

The last day of kindergarten is the hardest because he is not my little guy anymore. He’s a “grader”. An old pro at school, no longer my sweet little child exploring what the big kids do. And we’re left facing a new worry and reality about the new school year and the new teacher, longing to bring this year’s teacher along to first grade for our comfort.

I’ve already cried more at the end than I did at the start. I’m proud of what my son accomplished. I’m proud of where he going. I’m thankful for an amazing teacher who has become such a profound influence on him and supportive cheerleader for me along the way.

Summer vacation isn’t just about kids getting a break. It’s for mothers to come to terms with their children getting older and prepare for embracing their new teammate come fall.

Thank you Mrs. Y. My son is a better kid and will be a better man for all you’ve done and endured this school year.

Bird Brained Festivities

Did you have a good Memorial Day? We sure did. It was sunny, close to 90, a little humid, and we just redid the play area in the back yard. It was the perfect recipe for a day of fun in the sun family memories.

But, like every other day that I pray will become a cherished memory something always goes awry.

We were good as we played in the sprinklers, got the kids pool filled, had a water fight, munched a few snacks, and had some neighbor kids over. The swinging was great, the new fort worked well, and millions of bubbles were blown, chased, and popped. After a long winter inside, we were finally outside and at the request of our son, we decided to eat outside too.

I took one step toward the house to gather what I needed and heard a pop, then felt a squish. As I looked down, I was standing IN a baby bird. I’m assuming he fell out of a nest somewhere high in the tree that covers part of our yard.

Immediately, my normally rough and tumble ninja/warrior/brave boy was a sobbing mess. It was like the end of Old Yeller in the backyard.

“Why did you step on him mom?!”

Really? I’m hosing birdy off my foot and he thinks I did this on purpose? I assured him that other than the bird, I was probably the most disturbed party involved in this mess. There is squished bird ON MY BAREFOOT.

This led to “Why was he there? Where is his mom? Why did this happen?” and a litany of others.

To get him off the topic, I decided to try and get the bird out of the yard. The shovel just made a bigger mess, the little trowel somehow sent feathers everywhere – finally my husband quietly came over and told me “I think I’m just going to have to mow him – he’s really into the grass.”

Gross.

I moved the kids along and got them to forget about him. Hands were washed, dinner was cooked and as I approached the picnic table to give our son his plate, he was holding something in his hand and investigating it. If you have a six year old boy, you know where this is going. It was a “chunk” of our bird buddy.

I may have freaked out more then, than when it was on my foot. I marched him in, made him wash his hands three times. I washed them once. And we purelled the living daylights out of the kid. I was about ready to cancel eating outside (I hate it anyway with all the bugs that fly around). But we got to the table, sans bird, and enjoyed a meal.

As our daughter finished her meal, my husband plopped her onto the ground to play for a few minutes – RIGHT ON TOP OF THE DAMN BIRD. I may have lost my cool for a moment when asking him why my darling baby was now SITTING in dead bird. I’m not sure how, but he claims he forgot the bird was there. Temporary insanity possibly? Maybe.

By the end of the day, the bird was scrubbed off the baby’s legs and butt as well. We’re all bird free. And my lawn is getting mowed today.

And I’m guessing, while it’s not the stuff of Hallmark movies, we made plenty of memories we won’t be forgetting any time soon.

Free awesomeness! (I checked it out)

I am all about saving money. I grew up in a great Dutch town devoted to pinching pennies but still being fabulous – which is exactly why I like to find deals whenever I can.

A few weeks ago, I found an AWESOME site called Sneakpeeq.com and I got a FREE leather bracelet which I LOVE! And it was free. No gimmicks, no catch, no shipping. I know this is supposed to be too good to be true.

I just got notified that new members get a FREE bamboo ring AND right now FREE OPI nail polish! I almost regret signing up a few weeks ago. If you haven’t signed up with them yet, seriously do it. You’ll look fabulous and spend zero dollars!

CLICK HERE FOR A FREE RING!

The OPI deal is VERY limited time deal (this weekend only I heard) but the ring should be around a bit. Why wait though?

NO SCHMUCKS!

Experienced something new this week. Grounding. Not a new concept to me, but this time around I’m the parent.

It’s weird on this end.

As I recall from my childhood, my mother liked grounding kids. She greatly enjoyed watching our eyes swell with tears as our guilty little lips quivered after being caught doing something that could be chalked up as childhood curiosity, but was still wrong. Seeing our little shoulders slump as we stared at the ground and listened to our simple world of playing with friends and watching tv before bed be shattered before us. And once we were crying, I’m sure she felt a true sense of happiness and fulfillment.

That’s what I got from this process as a kid. That and the fact that she was always over reacting and I never did anything wrong.

Then I had kids. And my oldest, at age 6, did something that was naughtier than what a simple time out could fix. I’ll spare the details (he could Google this at some point and not want his mother sharing his childhood follies in complete details). I had to ground him. Half an hour earlier bedtime and no DS for 4 days. Sounded great in theory. It was hard to say it to him. Then after he went to bed in tears, I sat there fighting back tears. I felt like the meanest, most unfair, horrible mother ever. I took away 30 minutes of his play time. His play time WITH ME. And he doesn’t play the DS often, but it’s the one thing in life he loves to play with more than anything…

Mothers do not like grounding. They might hate it more than the kids. I am not happy or fulfilled. I am sad and full of guilt. I’m not up at night playing his games and laughing at his fate. I’m praying all night that he can just be perfect during this time so I don’t have to extend this. I think that might kill me. I honestly think that grounding my kid is the hardest thing I’ve done since giving birth to him.

All I really want to do is go tell him nevermind and give him a new game as a peace offering for how mean I am. But I know, that’s not what he needs. He’s got friends. He needs his mother to guide him and lead him, even when the path is hard for us both. I repeat this mantra in my head: “I will not raise a schmuck, I will not raise a schmuck…” and it’s gotten us through. I just hope someday he’ll see that punishing him is my least favorite thing of all with being a parent.

Stand strong Mommas. Be firm but love your kids. We can all do this and raise nice boys. The kind of boys we want our daughters marrying.

And I’m sorry Mom, you’re not evil and I’m guessing the same feelings and thoughts went through your head too. Thanks though, I got the message and I’m glad I’m not a schmuck.

Blood, tears, and ice cream

How are you doing with your Bible?? I’m working on it. Done in 90 days? No. But I’m not giving up – and that’s the point. I’ve started this before and never made it. I get through about a chapter a day and that’s good for me. Fifteen to twenty minutes of good for your soul time each day. I’m still recommending it to everyone! Get on it! You’ll thank me! Or at least think about it.

My blogging hasn’t improved but work has been busy. And school. And my kids have been funneling illnesses and injuries through this house faster than I can keep up (I am begging the pediatrician to start a punch card program so every 11^th visit is free).

The baby, who is no longer a baby, got her head stuck between the wall and a chair this weekend – and in the process of freeing herself since she couldn’t wait the .2 seconds it took me to get to her, she tore that little piece of skin between your gum and inside of your lip. I’m pretty sure she lost half the blood in her body and the Bounty paper towel company should add me to their Christmas list (in case my spill prone household somehow wasn’t on it already). Being the calm, cool, collected veteran momma I am – I handled it. No ER trip. I kicked it around, but we’re good (yes I checked her teeth too).

And that night, her brother (her peanut and tree nut allergic brother, I might add) ate some homemade ice cream. HOMEMADE people, as in, his mother meticulously read every label for every ingredient and let him make ice cream because “I never get to have fun ice cream – it always has peanuts.” Sadly, someone mislabeled something – or we have a new allergy. Welcome anaphylaxis (google that if you want to know the Hell we live in) and a trip to the ER. And not to mention, the sobbing little boy scared that the ice cream will kill him or that "they're going to cut me open to get the peanuts out!". He was a sobbing petrified mess, which broke his momma's heart and made for TWO sobbing messes. 

He’s fine. He’s on some meds for a few days (steroids). I’ve called and screamed at every company who SWEARS their food is safe. And I’ve made an allergist appointment to check him for something new. And for the next month, he’s back to an existence of no “fun ice cream” because we can’t be sure what the issue was.

I know that everyone wants their kids to be happy. To have what they want. And to enjoy life (and the yummy things!) but what I wish people understood is that some kids can’t. Lots of kids. And in some cases, like my son, food can be deadly. If you don’t get the big deal about peanut butter in schools and why it needs to be removed, stop and think for a minute. My son can’t have fun ice cream. He can’t eat many candies. Cookies, cakes, cupcakes, pies….all of that is out. Granola bars aren’t safe. Many cereals aren’t safe. I could go on.

Companies need to be more aware. I know they want to turn a buck and I know that these labeling are more of a legal hassle to most of them than anything. But its people’s lives. Kid’s lives. Food allergies are real things that real people deal with.

I’m madder than Hell at something. Either a company or an allergy. I’m frustrated that I currently cannot focus my anger at either possibility. I’m sad that the smartest, funniest, smiliest, most polite, energetic, greatest Lego builders I’ve ever known can’t have “fun ice cream” and faces the potential of death on a daily basis. It’s a lot for a kid. And his mom.

Keep your peanut butter at home. My kid just wants to make friends, have fun, and not die. He’s not asking for much.

Getting my Bible on!

I know I commit to a lot of things. It's what I do. Sadly, diets and frequent blogging aren't as high on that list as I'd like. I'm working on that (I know, broken record...)

Another thing I've wanted to do? Read my Bible. Like the whole thing. I've started before and its tapered off for various reasons. Not good reasons.

But now, thanks to my friend Courtney (and her FABULOUS blog www.oneboredmommy.com - check it out!) I am inspired. She did it. And shared how wonderful it was with her faithful readers, which includes me!

So starting tomorrow - I am starting the program she followed. And I'm not stopping. And I'm sharing it with you. I sincerely mean to. I'm better with accountability. Who's in?

Check out the site I'm following, www.biblein90days.org, sign up for an account. Click on listen to weekly lessons, and then week one - its the guide for the program. One Bible, one fulfilled life, ninety days. Completely worth it.

I want a team. Speak up people :)

And after this? Working out might inch its way up the list too!

Sneaky Veggies solve ADHD?

I'll fully admit: our six year old is a handful. His teacher deserves a very special award after this year, and we should problem prep next year's teacher well.

He's not a bad kid. But he's an excited kid. A curious kid. An energetic, implusive, active, funny, charming, mesmorizing, magnetic, leader of a kid. And did I mention he's smart? First, in a discipine situation he can and will call out your irrationalities and offer a more logical solution. Seriously. You can't flaw his logic at time. And school wise? He's reading third grade books and well beyond his class in all other subject. Execpt for keeping quiet, sitting still, and not keeping his hands to himself.

I'm sure you can imagine where the school is pushing us on this one...ADHD-ville.

I'm not going to say he doesn't have it. I don't know. But I do know that at 6, its really not possible to diagnose him. He doesn't know who he is or how he "fits" into this school. But clearly, there are some issues.

I've been doing a lot of research and I found that magnesium deficiencies can cause these symptoms. I don't know about all of you - but I was scractching my head: what gives us magnesium? As I went down a list of high magnesium foods lightbulbs started going off. The list consisted of nuts. Peanuts. Legumes that are not safe for my allergy boy (things like chick peas and legumes very close to peanuts).

Could his food allergies be hurting his ability to function? It possible. I'm on a mission to get other good veggies into him and to cut artificial colors, dyes, and unneccessary sugars. The best part? My boy is on board. He's so smart, he sees the issue, understands how food affects his body, and is gung-ho. I hope this works.

No matter how smart though, he's six. He hate broccoli, spinach, and other leafy greans that could be helpful. Basically, if its not corn, he's not interested. I've stayed strong over the years to offer other things and not "cave" to his corn - but he still wasn't GETTING those things.  So I've started working with the Deceptively Delicious cookbook by Jessica Seinfield and playing with purees. Our first attempt has gotten rave reviews, and I don't think either kid knows they're getting carrots!

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Applesauce Muffins with Carrot puree - from Deceptively Delicious

TOPPING
2/3 cup old fashioned oats
1/4 firmly packed light or dark brown sugar (I RECOMMEND DARK)
1 teaspoon cinnamon (I'd do 1 1/2-2 teaspoons next time)
2 tablesppons soft tub spread, melted

BATTER
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup old fashioned oats
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (I'd to 1 - 1 1/2 teaspoons next time)
1 cup unsweetened applesauce (next time, I'll use natural applesauce for a little flavor)
1/2 cup non fat milk
1/2 carrot puree (could use butternut squash puree too)
1/2 cup firmly packed light or dark brown sugar (I recommend dark)
1/4 cup vegetable or canola oil
1 large egg

- Pre heat oven to 400, prepare 12 cup muffin tin with spary or muffin papers.

- combine topping ingredients together and mix well to crumble on top.

- Combine flour, oats, baking poweder, baking soda, and cinammon in a bowl. In another bowl, combine applesauce, milk, puree, sugar, oil, and egg. Combine with the dry ingredients - mix it up, but not too well, its going to be lumpy.

- Divide the batter between the 12 cups (I'd say about 3/4 of the way full)

- Sprinkle with the topping (do it pretty well, you'll want that crunch and flavor).

- Bake for 18-20 minutes, until a toothpick is clean when poked in.

- Allow muffins to cool and serve them up!

These are great for breakfast, snacks, or on the go!


Next? Spinach in our son's BELOVED cheesy shell's recipe. Here's hoping!

"Get your socks out of the crockpot!"

Seriously, I had to scold it today. I never, ever, ever imagined that'd be coming out of my mouth.

Where's the book for the things you'll REALLY need to know and look out for in motherhood?

 I don't think that's in there anywhere.

I'm adding this to my list of other "did I really just that's?" incuding gems like:

- I don't care if you weren't caught, we do not practice karate in the library
- Do not use your sister's head as a bongo. No, I honestly don't believe she likes it.
- I'm sure your sister is NOT good at backflips, but how did YOU find that out?

What else you got for me? :) Leave a comment!

Not my mother's daughter

I like to think I was an easy child for my mother. I tell her often that I'd love to have a child that was as well behaved and listened as well as I did.

She usually hangs up the phone then. I'm sure its to grab my baby book and reminisce about the glory that came with raising me in her own private manner.

So on Saturday, when my mom said "Want go shoe shopping and out to lunch?" I looked at my 1 year old daughter and knew she'd be angelic. Just like I had been. Of course we'd go.

My mom said she'd be over around 11:30. So at 11:30 we were ready. And my precious daughter politely yelled for the door - she wanted outside. Fine. We stood in the driveway for 10 minutes while she hollared for her dad (who had gone to work for the afternoon). Its great how much she loves him.

We got in the car, drove 5 minutes downtown, and as we opened her door to let her out of the backseat she smiled, opened her mouth, and puked. My mother jumped back - HER daughter had NEVER done anything like this. I sighed. Time to fess up: I'm not raising my mother's daughter.

"What happened!?"
"She puked!"
"Now what? You want to go home?"
"No. She needs shoes and I want lunch. I'll change her outfit."
"Here!? In this parking lot?"
"Yes, hold her coat."

And I did it. Calmly, I cleaned the raisin filled puke, thankful she'd kept it mostly on her dress, and reached into her diaper bag for another outfit (I always have 1-2 on me - this isn't the first time I've changed her in a parking lot if you recall my Feb 2011 post). She dropped her binky on the ground and while the nipple didn't hit the ground, in true second child form I popped it into my head to "clean it", only to have to announce to my mother:

"This thing is covered in snot, gross."

My mother gagged. And we went into the store.

My daughter screamed the entire time we were in the store. Until finally, my mother asked her what she wanted. And thanks to that sign-language from her daycare she glared at her grandmother and signed "FOOD."

My mother looked at me and I calmly informed her that at OUR house, it would take more than a little vomit and ingested snot to get us to turn down the promised free lunch. We headed to the car, drove the restaurant, got out and felt my girl start to gag.

"Mom, back up - she's going again." Clearly - her VERY runny nose/cold was upsetting her tummy a bit. I leaned her over to save us from changing in ANOTHER parking lot, my mother stood in awe, and when she was done we headed in.

"That's it? She's just ok now?"
"It's puke mom. My kids are pukers. She's fine - but probably hungry"
"My girls were never pukers...I'm so glad."

I bet you were, mom. We made it in for lunch and it took my girl nearly an hour to eat 1 chicken finger and a handful of fries. She was too busy coloring, signing, chattering, and playing games with her grandma. She sweetly signed "please", and asked for "more food". She asked for a cup, then expressed she'd wanted "milk" and not water. Not with screaming but with her carefully executed signs and a couple rough babbles (she's only 15 months afterall!)

"Now THAT is cool. My girls never did that," my mom was pretty impressed with what she could do.

Definitely not raisng my mother's daughter, but that's not all bad either.

Getting serious for a minute

There are a lot of definitions surrounding forgiveness and the word forgive in general. At Easter time, the definition of "to forgive someone for (something wrong)" rings truer than ever. I would be lying to say I don't tend to think about this word around this time of the year. I know over the last 5 years I have grown much closer to God and his forgiveness for all my sins. I've definitely kept him on his toes ;)


But this Easter, the word hit home in a different way. I'm not dragging things out and airing my dirty laundry but I just want to say I was a really bad friend to someone who was trying to help me and be my friend 6 years ago (notice the coincidental time lines here). I said things no friend should ever say under any circumstance. Ever. And for the last 5 years I've felt sorry, guilty, remorseful, and embarrassed by what I did. I wanted to reach out but I couldn't imagine someone forgiving me and being willing to talk again. And, I was mortified for how I behaved and new that it would have to be addressed. Honestly, talking about that period of life depresses me to no end. I couldn't do it. Even though I wanted to and I missed my friend.


The day before Easter, I ran into my friend's mom and learned my friend, my 31 year old full of life friend, has been battling breast cancer and is facing a double mastectomy this week. I felt sick and scared and even worse that before. She was struggling and dealing with scary stuff and I couldn't swallow my pride to admit my wrong doing and ask for forgivness. I was selfish. And wrong. Again. And thanks to an ill-timed grocery store visit, on the day I NEVER go to the store, I had some serious decisions to make.


I reached out to her, scared that my good friend might be gone and I'd missed out on having her in my life - because I was embarrassed. And I learned a very true lesson in forgiveness. While she admits she doesn't understand, she forgives me. She's still my friend. And I honestly think that God and his lessons in forgivness and love that have been touching me for months led up to this moment.


When I met my friend, we were in 5th or 6th grade (I don't fully remember). We were partnered, as two girls that didn't know each other, to sing a Michael W. Smith song "Friends". I've been listening to it again lately and its hitting home.


Friends ARE friends forever, in the Lord's the Lord of them."


Say a prayer for my friend. She's strong, she's loving, she's forgiving, and I'm thankful to God for slowing rebuilding my life and my relationships through him.