On the FIFTH day of our Christmas the gift we gave our kids
was: all our love. Sorry we're late, but a blog post was suddenly not so important last night.
Yesterday morning, I got a 6 year old ready for school. We
talked about the spelling test he'd been studying for all week and how well I
knew he'd do. We talked about which morning snack he wanted to bring, to make
sure his morning was great. His lunch was packed with a wonderful compromise of
the healthy foods I wanted and the favorite foods he wanted. It was
"Santa's Workshop" day too - the kids would all make crafty presents
for their family members. He was excited and looking forward to the day. We put
on his winter coat and boots, made sure his backpack was ready for his day, and
hopped in the car. I dropped him off to his before-school ride and told him
"I love you, have a good day. I know you can do it" and I went to
work without really giving our morning another thought.
I'm sure in a small Connecticut town a mom like me, with a
boy like B, went through the same motions.
I'm sure neither of us thought to address what to do in case
a crazed gunman entered the school. We didn't remind the kids of safety
measures or talk with them about escape routes from their classrooms. Why would we? They're little kids. They're six
years old.
But at the end of the day, I got to hold my baby in my arms
again - along with his little sister. I was glad I had told him I loved him and
glad he had been safe.
The other mother was not so lucky.
This hits home. Random shootings are a tragedy no matter
what. They are always senseless and never fair. Regardless of circumstances or
victims I am always left shaking my head and wondering what could make one
person hate so many, many they never knew, so deeply they could kill. But this
wasn't that random. An angry adult for reasons unknown chose to target innocent
children as they went about their day of learning at their school with their
friends.
I can't tell you how many tears I have shed since this news
came. I've cried out of the deepest and sincerest form of empathy and sympathy
I can muster for the parents, siblings, friends, teachers, and town of Newtown.
Sandy Hook Elementary was never on my radar before but now it's at the
forefront of my mind and heart. Seeing the children crying and streaming from
the school while visibly shaken parents run by searching for their child makes
me want to head to the town, start knocking on doors, and personally just hug
everyone. Door to door. I wish there was something I could do to truly make
this better. Something I could say. But
I know there is not.
The best I can do is offer this bit of promise to those
parents: your children will never be forgotten. They will in all of our hearts,
especially mine forever. In their short time with us, your children have
reminded us all how important life is and how we must value every second. They
opened our eyes to what mattered, how to love more fully, and to never take a
moment for granted. Because of your children, our world got smaller, the love
got bigger, the prayers stronger. People's lives have forever been moved and
transformed for the better, even through this evil tragedy.
In honor of the mothers of Newton, I will hug my children
extra each night, kiss them one more time, tell them how much I love them, and
thank God for them more than before. My tears are not only from pure sadness
but from a sense of gratitude for the awakening your children have given this
world.
Please pray for Newtown. Pray for the new angel Heaven
received yesterday and thank God for wrapping them up in his arms. While there are
still many questions here on Earth and countless broken hearts, He will help us
all through this and give these families the strength they need to carry on.
Your children are our angels now and angels are never forgotten.
